I'm definitely not getting married anyone else.
I really have no one in life to live my life, sometimes my mind in a blurry moment becomes imagining if I will marry (S) for real, she's definitely gone from my life, it's been so many years.
Why do I keep trying again? She's just living her life not caring me at all then suddenly doctors' story pop-up that the 3 girls will become Schizophrenic too.
What when is it going to end? Why is my life not clear of my future? Are doctors helping me at all? If doctor remember, doctor is the one that stopped me from hacking, then I became a boring life, I believe doctors in hope that I would get a nice job, it's until 22 years long that I haven't hack kind of lifestyle? Why is doctor doing this to me?
I wonder what I should do if it's just imagination-statements? I really have nobody that would help me at all. I grow up to die like my parents are imagined as dying due to old age, then I become a useless man, I really have nothing gained or saved in life, my family didn't give me anything at all for more than 10 years I have nothing in my life. Why are they doing this then trying to be funny "if want to marry ..", that's cruelty I think, I've been wanting (S) since 6 years old then she ask me if I want to marry someone else. I should give up on (S) because it's 31 years already, the moment I met her until now, it's definitely not about Mastermind, they 3 didn't ask me anything means they don't care about me.
I'm on my own in my life with nothing.
Just eating from my parents' C.D.C Voucher and My Father Belanje Food, then I been trying to work I should just die at young age as they don't let me feel anything in life. My life is nothing great at All.
I Remember they mentioned about giving me money at 38 years old, but they don't talk about it, so I think it's a lie as it will be the same as in the end I work from Jobclub and C.C if don't open December it's like another hell feelings, I knew the story in B.M.C i will work Pallet Job, then to keep believing without updates is tiring me. I really have no hope kind of man.
Nobody updates me anything it's been years, then looking forward for such days that will not happen at all. So if they schizophrenia their turn to wait for 17 years long then? Isn't it supposed to be like that? I guess they just ruining my life accidentally.
No one is helping me at all, it's just pleasant statement to hear to take medicines daily until next year then keep hearing voices like recordings, let be to keep "attacking my mind" from my memories, then I may write of it accidentally and stress about it. Nobody is helping me anything, I've lost my life so long ago without realizing it at all. It's not clear to me I'm 38 years old next year?
Nobody gets married at 40 or 39, it's too late already, I think my family are becoming stupid to question me if want to marry others, instead of approaching my desired girls.
They(3) also didn't effort to meet me up or help me in my difficulty, it's a proof it's been nothing in future of my life with them, I will not have anything in life anymore, life is over long time ago just earning for my future to eat extras/more than Government gives as life goal.
Nobody cares about making me a special smoker, I know I need to smoke it's $13.90 for 2 or 3 days everytime. I really have nothing from my family, they never gave me money for so long and it's not even this month after so long of taking medications. Stress is created on purpose. Only my brother ever gave me $100 on October. I'm already dead in life.
The future is to experience deadmeat and keep hearing voices of my memories of past attack statements. They don't help me recover at all and let me continuously suffer hearing a stupid girl's voice that entered University even if Stupid and Bad Person.
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