Wow 180 Days On Medications.

Finally just 3 more days and I'm half year done on medications, today is my first day without cigarette in the morning, I hope I'm well I know the sleeping will be pleasurable when I don't smoke I hope I can maintain this way or be supported as it's hard to just stop from 20 sticks like this, the pleasure from sleeping will be thought of as from lorazepam in the past, there just exist a different pleasure maybe from the medicine itself, but I remember I've been spike there definitely a bad feeling about it too, that my sleeping I ever thought I'm in a coma and I'm in a dream, that I'm in a boat, it's because of not smoking I feel this way, it's weird, smoking brings back to reality and it's fine too.

I really drank a lot of cold water I have 1.5L readied yesterday then today my mind feels super calm from drinking it a lot.

I just finished eating small karipap it's so delicious I finished 3 of it. I topup my plain water into 1.5L bottle as I finished it just after eating. The coma feeling is coming back when I don't smoke, is it the spike symptom? I think I became less creative when I don't smoke like nothing to write anymore.

I remember I will work at Popeyes and meet a girl then (S) will visit me after "I have a new steady", it's hard, (S) will ask me for recommendation of food for Popeyes as she's with her niece, this is the story about my future if I work at Popeyes, I wonder what will happen, will I be fine waiting like this? I saw an old lady working at Popeyes if she can handle it, it means I can survive well at Popeyes too. I really hope I become a good worker at Popeyes.

The story of future is really from doctor, means actually I somehow will recover from this pain and survive another life journey, I think this time there won't be any break-ups because I'm already old age causing like a heart confusion of who I like because the break-ups in the past been because of small girl, then I will somehow in contact with (W) and (A) from doctor maybe, I really don't know what will happen.

Being 132 outside ward on medications made me feel it's been 100 days I actually been blogging? Wow my life is really long and I just kept blogging to feel occupied, I really will write of exercises again but my left arm in pain, it's because I don't smoke is why I will write of exercises I think. I really feel like smoking, exercising will keep me lower weight, I feel so fat now but I remember doctor saying I will still wear the canvas shoes for O level in 2027, means my weight didn't become worse. I still wonder what will I be doing every night with hoodie or fila jacket. Is it game of RG477V?

Just for the sleeping pleasure I try not to smoke anymore, it's hard to suddenly quit like this but I will just try my best.