Tomorrow going out

Finally taking the train again, going to Maxwell to send back my Shirt to the Workplace, it's troublesome like costing ez-link, it's better if spend to meet Sakinah but I can't do that as don't know where she's at, I'm so unlucky in life, like a magnet to unlucky feelings in life.

I don't know why it's like this, I'm left alone for so long so many years, then I feel like I will have money for mathematics, physics and chemistry, then I still feel poor and don't have anything at all, it feels like doctor can tell me where I will get money from but then he won't as his choice. I'm left thinking by myself many times, this is neverending kind of stress.

Why is it like this my life? Why I was created to feel that I will get money? It's such a horrible feeling like showing a kid $50 then taking it back, it's really crazy the Alysha, my main unluckiness in life is by her.

I only have 1 month of May left to continue understanding Iqra 1 day and then hopefully by June I know how to read Al-Quran, it's funny but I really in a rush about it then I don't know if I can make it, it's really hard the thinking if I will become a successful person that reads Al-Quran, then I wonder if the time spent on it will decrease knowledge on other matters of life like O level subjects because of time spent on Al-Quran instead of O level stuff, I really don't know what's happening to me, I feel like I can read normal Iqra but then there's more signs to understand, I just will need to ask my mother I think, it's really hard I am by my own self on this, and I remember it's going to be like 39 years old then I know how to read Al-Quran, it takes so long like 1year+ left, I would spend time on Al-Quran instead of revising for my subject next year? I wonder such thing.

It's harsh I remember doctor saying I will do O level Mathematics then scoring All 100%, then at that time I will be working at foodstall type of places? I really cant remember what I will work as, it's really hard my life have to be this way.