Sad Life

How like demanded to work, then a reason hotness can be worse if did not angry about a job, easily menthol or blue cig. is the remedy as they know the moments that I would feeling a lot of heat, or even cold water, but they just maybe continued in future.

I don't know how to talk to them about this, where is the hotness from? What sickness is it? Why doctor knows about it then have no medicine but schizophrenia medicine? Why "Ice/Cold Water" on time is not the way they should've done it like that? They really make-up the conversation I think.

My body feels hot at times not understood as a physical sickness but mental sickness instead, as I worry about finishing moment of medicine(it becomes worse), then I still can't work yet as fact right?

My O.T told me to try apply Fast Food near my place, I definitely want to try for McDonald at 888 but the Arm Pain really made me worry about my future at work, Arm Pain after Injection like require 1 week M.C due to the Arm Pain? Maybe they actually just hinting me to stick to Jobclub? Why are they like this?

Will I become a Popeye's Person as my Jobclub actually applied for me there? Will I be fine at work? Will I get 1 week M.C after each Injection?

In my memory have like (S) will visit me when I get a job in Popeye's, doesn't it mean I should just stick to Jobclub and give up? I don't know why my body like this. I remembered about Hisyammuddin he ever memory lost too our eyes will be looking upwards then became White Eye then loss of memory, I don't think he remembers or will he be angry as I thought he's the same type of pain as me? I wonder how he treat himself maybe a lot of cold water or focus on jobs? I've been drinking a lot of Cold Water at home, I really don't know if he believe he ever lost of memory, but his condition isn't as bad as mine, he's lucky to grow old able to work and have savings while my pain is too much. What I worry about his memory loss is if he speak something then people want to kill him, weird but spiking can make body hot too(if he ever tries cig., what if he was spiked), I remember they thought cig. are drugs. Means bad people want to ruin his life making him feel hot? Because his family is more daring in saying things to people, what if he ever offended someone(drug addict) to keep spiking meth in his life to make him feel hot many times? I truly understand the hot anger feelings inside heart that he feels it too. If nobody believe him, it's like a temperature of hot water into our heart, suddenly we believe "anger and boiling heart" as truly the temperature will rise and burn us. It's weird I don't want to feel hot and if doctors knows the moment of hotness why not tell my parents to prepare cold water instead?