Woke Up

Sad how I totally forgot my dream, it was a pleasant feeling from the dream, I woke up thinking I have recovered from schizophrenia as the voices are gone leaving only the sound of fan, the voices didn't come from fan anymore, I think voices are from words related to the next story that I will hear, then that's how the voices continues into a lot of voices, it's really bad.

I'm happy reaching June soon then it's almost 1 year ago that I was warded, the feelings like didn't happen, 1 year is too fast like I felt nothing, I didn't achieve anything this year too. It is sad my life how nobody got me the girl that I love, even she herself keeps herself away from me, am I germs or what? It's really bad how I can't successfully get the person I love, then 2 girls had ran away, looking married makes me wonder what's the truth and they let me remain clueless about their life, I wonder if it's revenge or not too.

It's almost 3a.m now, I'm already happier with the amount of money I have left as it will last until August. I feel like it's the same repeat everytime schizophrenia does this to me, I have no life stories and just wishing for a better and nicer feelings in my life, pleasure can be bought from money then it's my only hope to counter anhedonia other than exercises, I hope I will be cured this month.