I think like it's fat hope life will change

Like nothing will happen, Club Heal haven't contacted me yet, maybe tomorrow, I don't know, I'm so unlucky the confidence can die off and go away, what should I say to counsellor? I'm so unlucky in my life.

I wonder when luck will happen to me, I really feel weird, I'm remembering about counselling during BNSS instead, the counsellor didn't help me get money from my parents, it's really bad my life experience I really don't know what to do, they don't mind I live a poor life looks like it.

What should I do in life? I still can't find a good job and it's like a boring search everytime, I think my happiness really can't happen in life, what's weird is that there's 2 different moments and memories happens at the same time. Schizophrenia is really weird, people treat me like they understand the illness more than me. I think people forever feels that I'm retarded to hold money, it's so sad my life experience I really have no hope in life.