Happy at 38years old?

This news kept being in my mind, how psychic knows this, can I know what I will be happy about? Do I really have to wait? Is it because I been fishing since 37 yrs old? Is it I will get to marry someone I want?

The unhappiness is really felt for more than 15 years? Why is it like this? I am made to be sad and can't be normal until more than 15years?

Is it I get to go U.S.A to feel how it's like? I have Anhedonia(lack of pleasure) means I really don't feel pleasure much unless something I really like maybe: my wallet, my bicycle, my sandal and slippers, my jackets, my future fashion sling bag(the brand is fashion) even if such brand, definitely 1 day my fishing rod too and my smartwatch?

I will keep thinking of this everyday unless I loss memory again, I really want my memory intact, the brain brilliance capsule maybe worth it if not there's no price for it, I really want to win schizophrenia.

Writing organisation like doesn't matter anymore as long as I publish to Facebook after that, about daily can be many posts too. I truly can't get what I will be happy about or memory mix up with dreams - it's really like marriage and have children, the dream feels reality. I even thought psychic doctor will define my dreams and write a book on it for me to read - fat hope special treatments. It's still about happiness at 38yrs old.

I think I have no life now, daily is dull with Android that I have no plans on what to do, my plan on making a ghost hunting group is an adventure group as something that gives me life again, I really wonder how people let me wait for every g.s.t package so I enjoy myself. October and November are 60 days of waiting for December, it's really long to get a cheap laptop, another thing I will be happy about.

My life is so heavy just truly believing the spikes caused to feel this way - a drag of durations to feel, I definitely been spiked and it's handled this way and safest for my heart and mind I guess. What would police do about it as it's been multiple times? Maybe my body would be feeling something else nicer if not spiked, healthier waiting per day? I wonder when I would recover from the spike.