Facebook Dating App like useless anyway no one liked me I guess causing this boredom. Thinking what will make answers like a Wali Allah would know my future too? Will psychic let me have an easy and pleasant life? Can they help me like this just taking medicines maybe is the only thing in mind?
37 37 37 37 37, like that I see my age to feel that I have grown up so much and still a single lifestyle. Looks nobody would answer why my life like this, maybe just harvester of writings to save for my family, I feel a bit like (W) still reads me though, why did I get anhedonia when she messaged me last year(I think) or some years ago? On Facebook, she knew I didn't take medicine when I stop posting updates, something like that. What a waste, my chance of normal chat gone just like that from anhedonia. It is stupid it's from having schizophrenia.
Now at woodlands have bazaar tempting to buy the Goreng Pisang 7 for $5 then it's too expensive I think, why the prices like that maybe because jobs salary everywhere have increased? I saw nice bags but I won't buy them, my life to go out where anyway? I don't have friends to go out at all, my life is still dull and miserable, why do people like me like this? Thinking where I should bicycle to, the night riding too if it's a dream or reality too.
What would happen at night 1 day is a lot of bicycle activity of me that the psychic knew in my dream or reality? Why psychic don't remind me it's not a dream though? Maybe I would go woodlands jetty many times to watch people fishing? What activity I would have at that time? I would go Fushan Garden? McDonald at Woodlands North Plaza or 888? Why would I be biking alot with my Hoodie 1 day? Where would I go? Why psychic knew but not me?
Maybe It's a Night Job, but I wait for Jobclub anyway and it's Morning. Is it a parcel sending job? Is it jealousy that causes me to have no friends? Does (W) and (A) still contact anyone at this age? 36 and 32 years old, their life is a family matter Only? They become having nothing to do online? Do they play games? Why do I suffer alone as okay, every time I go i.m.h would passby (A)'s house and I keep looking at the bus stop if she's around. My life been created to become sad and people not know me to not care as normality.
The enthusiasm to go out exist causing me buying stuff then I forgot it's for fishing reasons then I become having a dull feeling again and again. It's maybe the crave of cigarette causing this, or the spike that's too long already.
Will doctor speak to me about normal life one day? It's everytime about medicines only, in the past I managed to go doctor until November I think? Then I wonder what I should do now. The boringness is real.
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