Thinking of what makes me happy

I think of Items, Exercises, Health - Food, Fruits. What would I do in my life, maybe only 60 days is too fast for my family to react anything about my medications? But including in i.m.h is 1.5mths of medications.

Writing creates a special peace for me.

My mother sent me a zikir "Ya Jabbar, Wajburni" untuk kuatkan hati dan peroleh kebahagiaan I hope it helps me.

Yesterday talked of O Level at Family Chat and only my 1st sister responded I think it's weird they are not encouraging at all except my 1st sister telling me to take part-time O Level and work for part-time. I don't know what will happen, I've loss energy about it like would they mind I take O Level? I have a dream of living in U.S.A and if my body health will recover and can work, I would want O Level standard too. I am thinking if next year really my working year from Jobclub.

My writings became lesser as if not I would maybe write of the same thing, my life experienced alot of repetition like a life fixation thing, the occurrences. Like to believe of multiple chances or dejavu, it's like that the same occurrences happened in life yearly(I think). I don't know why my family pick such pattern, maybe it's on purpose secretly, it's Abit like psychic if do the same thing. They maybe have a note somewhere of what to do on days, I imagine like that. It's maybe I kept losing memory so it's like a test? It really only felt like 2nd or 1st time though(like I decided not to resell items I bought), I don't know it could be more than 3 times even in their memory, it's cause I lost memory, the dejavu is like created on purpose.

I hope doctor would help me about O Level I don't know if I should apply next year. The BMC Website is down.

I'm happy learning Mandarin daily hopefully my health maintains good to learn. It's only about 20mins each part of mandarin I have 30 to complete first phase, at part 20.

I feel confident I can understand mandarin this way it also proves my learning ability have came back, means I can do my O Level next year. My family don't know I scored well for my N level until my schizophrenia, I'm usually 98 and above out of 100 or even 100/100 usually. I am sad schizophrenia caused me to just passes in N Level, means I think(I don't remember, It just make sense) I was warded during school days before. It's my split-memory like on the day maybe have 2 memories(I took medication late maybe).

So I think I can do well for my O Level if I apply.