My N.S Friend Contacted Me Last Year Then I Assume He Will Do It Again But He Did Not, I Remember in My Memory I Think.
Life just hoping it feels nicer daily while taking medication everyday. There's no way to feel lighter in life unless have money, I Definitely want to work too but I can't It's like a Memory Of Confusion or Disorganized In My Brain I Can't Remember What Happened Sometimes.
I Feel Like Telling Doctor of Restless Feeling Wonder If Doctor Will Give Me Benztropine or Not, Just Thinking Of Lightness In Pain of Schizophrenia. The Illness Is Like Physical, In the Heart Can Experience Heartache For Real If Believing Differently Than Spoken, It Can Make A Matter Believable Suddenly Due to Memory Loss or Appearance of People at Location, Like a Teleport(Because Loss Memory The Person Had Walked There), Distance Of Walk Can Create Assumption Into a Story or A Summarization That Is Heartache, I Truly Hate Schizophrenia It Causes Break-Up Twice Just Matter of My Mind And Heart Did Not Heal-Up, I Truly Want To Recover From It. My Heart Feels Pain For Free, I Think My Life Is Unfair, I Believe Doctor Though and Still Trust My Ex, Doctor is a Psychic. I don't know how to Recover From My Loss, Like A Carelessness? Is the Spelling Callousness? Just know the pronunciation is what I meant. What can make me okay with my ex again? There's no contact, there's no chance, but Just believing Doctor is Enough I think. I Wish Psychic can be A Connector to my Soulmate, Having Someone That Have Explained Why It's Not Wrong And Schizophrenia Causes Mind To Think A Certain Way. Will Any Psychic Help Me And Be Connector to My Soulmate? Is It Really "Soulmates" with the "s"? I Remember Stuff Like I Will Marry 4 Person Instead, Schizophrenia Makes Dream and Reality Mixed-Up As 1 Story of Life. My Age 37years old now, that reality is far away, I Am Not In Contact with Any Girls Been Over 15+years. How Can My Life Be Normal Again?
I Ride Bicycle Around With Abit Difficulty But Still Satisfied Of My Buy Trying To Get A Normal Feeling Of Life, Jobs Definitely Will Pause or Stop It, How Can I Juggle? I want the feeling of life, to fish is the alternative "Not Lazy Man" Status To Get As Getting Food For People In House. I Also Remember And Mix-Up My Memory With Dream or Reality That I Will Go Fishing With Doctor 1 Day, I'm So Happy of This Memory I Wish It's Not A Dream, I really want to talk a lot to Doctor in a Normal Conversation As He's a Psychic, Psychic Knows Stuff. I Also Would Like To Learn Martial Art From A Psychic Doctor, Definitely They Knew My Safety Needs, How Can This Come True?
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Why do I feel like nothing interesting, the fun of going out like no longer exist, I was just imagining about going City Hall, why it will be boring in MRT? It's been 15+years passed and I still think about City Hall, thinking why I bought a Bag, why I Plan to Buy Long sleeve, definitely I will Fish? Will I Go Fishing At All? What Kind of Fishing Rod Am I Buying? What will I do in life? Why my life is so dull? Will My Memory Be Intact This Time? Will I Remember This Time? It must definitely be the end, I don't want to Suffer From Schizophrenia, I Definitely Been Suffering, Including From Boredom, What Should I Do In Life?
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