It's still hard to think what work I would do, if jobclub would contact me earlier or December 29 itself, I hope 1st December is the appearance of Soldier Job Still. The Story of 38 Years Old "Then I Will Be Happy" Still Seems Like Soldier Job By Fact is In June, Means I Can't Get My Happiness at 37 Years Old Yet.
Catatonia Makes Me Confident That It's Hard To Work, I Feel Like Requesting Doctor "To Let Me Focus On Medication Alone" Since My Recovery is 38 Years Old. I will still search for jobs anyway, I really feel like trying Dishwasher Job due to Panic as I haven't Change My Phone Number and Send Bank Statement to my O.T(Occupational Therapist) So That She Can Schedule My Training Days, I Forgot That I'm Saving Money For Training Days Too That It's Okay It's Late.
Just now when I shower, it feels like "Hacker Job" is too easy to be true, earning $50 per hack at first, then it increases, I like how easy money can be earned just by hacking - it's hack for "Mental Hospital" anyway jobs by Doctor. It feels like Doctors pity me instead and giving me money for such easy hacking. I feel so wonderful and worry I take so much money for something so easy to do. I really just love the job. I really want to do well that it's my 2nd job other than Pallet Job 1 day, I really hope I get a job from December to January so I can skip doctor's question about Jobclub, even if maybe nothing it still feels like something, does worry cause Catatonia too? I know doctors knows but don't know why they're like that they still question. They are just being nice like when I was spiked they didn't mention I smoke(not about drugs) normal cig. The spike moments made me wish for Liquor and Ice Cream then it didn't happen in I.M.H, I'm thinking of removing the drugs by Liquor, just theory that it's the best way for removal of it(the feeling to appear then suddenly vanish the next day).
I survived well from my August G.S.T of $850 and $300 C.D.C Voucher(normal shops), I still have $160 C.D.C Supermarket Vouchers. I really feel like spending my time fishing to avoid harsh questions from family about work, I really want to earn something for family at home just by fishing(getting fishes) and not be a useless man but my mother always makes it sounds like that, every morning when she mop I would anticipate and worry she create heat in my heart, I then think she's 70 years old, it's not good to quarrel or argue with her, but she wasted our moments of life like that, by creating anger to my heart. I feel if I don't work it's nicer to spend time with my Mother at home, as shes 70 years old then I have been 17years like skipping my life without her, I even lost memory she's my real Mother then they didn't care about it too, doctors didn't tell of my feelings?
I was made to think I'm Japanese and Egyptian mixture too, another Race causing me to think I'm hated in Singapore because Japan ever invade Singapore and Egypt have a lot of Atheist? I was thinking if I could really be chosen to become Dajjal to be Painted Red and Right Eye Blind during my schizophrenic moments that I "am an orphan". I really have no one but only think and wish for (S) and recovery that actually it's 38 years old and maybe can't be faster at All. Then I think again, Dajjal is From Israel, then of course it can't be me. Then I wonder if Islam rejecting me to Choose me to Become a Jew like a Sacrifice. It's so many years I was thinking like this and nobody knows or nobody helps me except Doctor that just wish I take my Medicines.
I really hope I know where to get the Pallet Job, if I remember The Past its maybe from C.C(Community Centre) and I work it all the way until I got a job at Bank, I wonder when C.C going to be open if it can be Before Meeting Doctor so I can easily just tell Doctor "I got a job already", it's not that I don't want to work, it's the Catatonia. I know intelligent people also Smoke so Smoking doesn't cause decrease in intelligence.
No comments:
Post a Comment