Remembering More

I Remember About Me Messaging The Uncle of (A) with A lot of Vulgarities and Video Call I Think, I Dont Know Why They Acted Like That, Did Doctor Help Me And Tell (A)'s Family I Got Schizophrenia? I Didn't Know Why My Life Is Like This, I Kinda Mess Up My Life Journey With (A), But They Like Knowing I Have Schizophrenia But It's Not Really Understood Maybe.

I Began To Wish People Understand Schizophrenia Correctly A Few Days Ago So Insanity Is Not The Push Of Status or Profile of Schizophrenic. I Really Can't Do Anything With Schizophrenia I Became "Sembarang" Type Of Man, I Lost Connection With Family of (A) Immediately. (A) didn't Back Me Up Too That I Have Schizophrenia So I Feel Like Doctor Have Told Them About It.

I Can't Know Why I Remember This Part, I Wasn't On Medication On That Day, It's Odd I Became Like Shameless Still Wanting (A) Then A lot Of Years Back? I Truly Lost Memory About It For So Long.

I Don't Think There's A Peaceful Way To Settle This Unless Doctor Explained To (A)'s Family What Schizophrenia Felt Like, I Guess I Just Can't Enjoy Myself In Love Too Much, I Feel I Actually Have Totally Lost (A) From My Life.

I Don't Know What I Should Do, Schizophrenia Makes Lie Detector The Only Wish In Life To Prove Something As Truth or Lies, I Can't Do Anything Feeling Helpless, Police Didn't Understand Me Or Doctor Knew It And Told Police First What Schizophrenia Is Like. I Hope Police Understands Schizophrenia More, Roughness Towards Schizophrenic Was Also Permitted Due to Violence That May Occur, It Is Sad How Physical Pain Then Roughness On The Pain, It's Like A Pain At Back Of Head, I Wonder Why.

I Realize Schizophrenia is Something That Causes Something Physical Pain At Back Of Head And Heartache To Heart, What Happens About The Nerve Of Schizophrenics? Is Something Stuck At Brain? Will The Research Discover and Tell About This Pain? Won't People Want Xanax After Understanding About It? Or Common Famous Prozac? Because of Physical Pain From Schizophrenia. I Remembered I Was Already In A lot of Physical Pain At Back Of My Head. I wonder what (S) Feels But That's The Only Solution That's The Best It Can Ever Be, I Am Sad How Schizophrenia Can Create A Belief and Be Beaten Because Of Believing It Instead of Understanding The Mind Have Been Fooled. Really Felt Helpless Back Then.

It's Like I Have Created Enemies With So Many People That When My I.R.C Nick Got Stolen, It's Considered As My Attitude As Well Wondering What Chat Have Happened When Nick Was Used. I Really Can't Do Anything Then A Kind Of Profile Exist Somewhere Already By A Fake Character Of My Nick.

The Feeling of Worry Exist In My Heart Like How I Can Forget Foolish Behaviour Moments, Then It's Still Like (A) Left Me Without A Problem It's Odd To Me Too. I Don't Know Why Life Have To Be This Way Like Story of Islam Become Enemies of Each Other And 1 Became Kafir, Then Will I Still Be In Touch With (A) in Akhirat? I Wonder What Happened About (A)'s Life, Lie Detector Will Cause A Disturbance To (A)'s Family By Me Instead, I Really Don't Know Any Other Solution But I Have Messed Up My Chemistry-Chances With (A)'s Family Accidentally.