Injection Arm in Pain

The Injection is Weird How It's Painful Like An Injury, My Arm Became Stiff it's Hard To Move It, But The Point is I Have Gotten My Injection.

I Really Miss (S) Alot and Feels Like (W) and (A) don't care of me as it's been so many years, (S) is different, we really just talk on M.R.T and at O.C.B.C then if she don't care it will still look like it doesn't really matter, because we don't really communicate in life.

(S) is at an advantage like knowing from Psychic the way I talk or answer something without communicating with me, she still can feel like communicating with me from Psychic, she don't feel bored if need me "I'm always there", I feel she knows all about me from Psychic. I don't know why it's okay to be like this, she's definitely not neglected from me but I can feel the neglection as Psychic don't tell me her answers, Psychic can message her while I can't as she's strict like that on me? I don't know why my life is like this being in love with someone that maybe doesn't mind that I'm not communicating with her because Psychic can copy my answer like I'm the one that answered her. I wish she know everything about my life. I hope the pain of missing me doesn't happen in her life experience. I experienced missing someone so badly then the person(S) didn't know about it? Why she's so strong because she's being supported by Psychic, definitely it was my idea that given her the support she needs from Psychic as I told Psychic I want her to be happy and I'm willing to feel the pain as I have schizophrenia anyway. She's really in great health it seems due to being able to work at O.C.B.C for years.

I don't know when I can get in touch with her, if I feel of knowing her, I regarded she's my soulmate then I remembered she told me "she's attached" then I became lost of memory, until I hear it, I didn't became shaking my head in denial but I lost my memory until I heard her answer and remember it. I don't know why she did that it's been so many years, why she didn't find it special I have been searching for her feeling missing her for so many years? Is it really okay to do this to me?

(W) been gone from my life for 20 years and (A) for 17 years, I really can't cope my life alone but they are living their life with easy reasons that I may became Mastermind if go out with them and they evading prison-chances for me. Why is it like that the answer of Psychic to them, why is money hard to get in life?

I'm starting to feel the laziness of Mandarin Learning but I don't want to stop yet, I really want to know Mandarin but it's been so many years, I'm reminded that Dina was only 3 years old then suddenly she's so Big, I really lost my life moments and experiences of seeing her really grow up or I lost my memory? It's like a Teleport to the Future my life suddenly everyone grows old already and my Mother is 70 Years Old, so Old Already. I think she's just doing like "Cik Norma" about telling to work all that, I don't know why heating up my heart is their way of caring me. They don't care it's common sense to work and I need to feel rested at all. "Cik Norma" have died then I can't remember how she's connected to my mother as a family, maybe they are Cousin I forgot, then she's actually my Family, how they can't not mind feeling the heat in my heart like it's nothing though, what kind of belief of practice is that? I remember Doctor saying the heat could become worse if they don't question on time, means they actually decreases the heat I'm supposed to feel. It's weird then I Believe Doctor really decreases the Total Heat that way, it's maybe because of remembering by voices of what's spoken to me in the past.

I really feel like (S) will contact me June or July or even later, I really feel sad how it's this long but she spend time with her Niece anyway during her free time, means she really not wasting time on other guys, I know she's somehow nice to me with reasons I don't know. It's like she wearing sporty but actually no men really look at her in a freaky s*xual interest. Means she didn't arouse other men when wearing sport during her school days. I really worry how if I cant get her in my life as my Wife. I hope she care enough to do something for me like contacting me 1 day. My family didn't help or support her contacting me at all. I feel my growth to old age without comfort of getting her with help from my family. Even if they spy her they didn't update me or let me feel the pain of missing her and worrying about her.