Imagining having assets are like having treasures in my life, if me being someone that will have asset and become rich 1 day, I find myself actually cool and can be calm by fact if have money, the panicky feelings is not nice at all. It's understandable like if (S) etc. didn't like me because of me they just eat so little and have so little in life even if earning a lot in life, I'm just being in the way of their happiness that they can create themselves with money. At least it should become a reason for me to hate them but they "susah senang bersama" instead and I have no reason too, it's harsh if it's like this why can't she just accept my love and make it forever? "She maybe wanted to keep all her money" anyway in my mind, as (S) tunang at that time, then I wonder if I'm unfair to her, but doesn't this mean she doesn't want to lose me? Means she actually love me since long time ago? Her photos together with other man makes me unhappy or jealous but I really want a girl that touches other man before? Why is she doing this if making up no reason for me to ask to be fair? Maybe she just wants to keep all her money anyway and just being nice. She can keep all her money in the first place anyway but as soulmates why is it wrong if I ask for money? It's wrong that she don't feel the same way like me and then writing this is like a stranger(her/she) reads and understanding my feelings but actually didn't care at all that's why she tunang before? I remember I keep moving my legs imagining kicking her head makes me happy at one time, because I want to forget her already, I became not knowing why I love her and have no reason to hate her, at first it's because of her looks, then she decided to tunang instead, it's weird my words didn't make her stop that at all, I feel that love is like magic and sincere, then the magic didn't work, means I can don't love her anymore but it didn't happen? Why didn't she just make me hate her by having Wali Allah as her baby? I really tried to hate her I also don't want myself to feel heavy but she didn't help me feel lighter by meeting me anyway, means she enjoy my love or not? Why is her feelings like a stupid person to risk herself and tunang with "Iman"? She risk a life of Soulmates that if others see like knowing in a paper even, by creating a climax that she "tunang with Iman"?
Then funny anyway because "She Married Iman" becomes the statement and if as sentence it means she's super high in Iman like Iman is her Husband? It's stupid to marry someone named as Iman.
Why did a Degree girl become so stupid? I do this because I read a quote to not call girls Stupid. I think she wasted my effort and my love already then I somehow still love her unable to forget her. Why is she doing this to me maybe really just because she wants to keep all her money that's all?
Maybe I'm right that's the main point if not she won't tunang with "Iman", then a soulmate energy to die off but she didn't have son with "Iman", she wasted the ceremony money, she could've given me money instead of spending on such stupid ceremony. I really don't get/have her by fact, I really rather live a rich life too if I really can't get her after doing so much for her that I loss my memory, not knowing I've done it, like becoming a Hacker for O.C.B.C so she becomes a Banker for O.C.B.C, but I wonder when because she's going to be fired anyway if I don't marry her in the end, then I like such deals anyway. I even got to set rule to not spend her money on "Iman" until she have a child with him, because it's my effort to get her the job. If I didn't hack, she didn't get the job at all, that's what they said at O.C.B.C, then until today she's still wasting my time and age I became closer to 38 years old everyday and she just still ignoring me being selfish, like I will ask her money like a beggar like fat hope I can become like that, I rather masturbate to her mother imagining Hari Raya Pri 5 I can still remember her mother when I was inside her house. She's really not helping me at all as my soulmate she became a useless person. To let someone in panic for so long too is harsh, I can hate her if she help me hate her, but she didn't do it then it's her fault that I still love her, all she needed to do left is Marry or have Child with Iman or Have Sex with Iman, the stupid name.
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