3rd day of work Done!

It's really slow and $36+$18 = $54, at least this is confirmed.

I'm at Day 179 out of ward on medications and total of 227 days on medications.

Right now I'm inside bus o.t.w home from I.M.H. I realize I just wrote about I.M.H even if people might label me as insane due to being schizophrenic and require the medicine, it sucks thinking I have a "mental problem" then actually I was scoring 100% in exams then actually I don't have a mental problem at all, it maybe means I'm not insane that's all.

Just now I found 1 stick of cig., then I collected it and put inside my bag, happy having extra cig.

I imagine myself buying a bandung and smoking later at woodlands I really feel it is pleasurable. Maybe it's the only nice feeling if have anhedonia to be smoking and feeling something else.

The recovery period like not supported by my family, like giving money etc. I just have to survive on this, I really want to stop writing about not having money too, I wonder why it's okay for someone to write have no money. It's weird and people sadly don't care.

I'm thinking what I should get later I definitely will feel hungry, feels like buying bread instead, I really miss a life like when I was working at aero2k, always having money, it's harsh like this to have nothing and waiting for luck of someone giving me money like my brother.

Even if it's like shameless of writing of having no money, people don't find it weird why I live in a big house but then my parents don't give me money, I wonder why strictness exist to just wait on it everyday.