The research I will earn $100 finally, earning something again, I'm lucky that money appears like this, I hope there's more money everywhere.
It's not a bit but something that survives me in difficulty, I feel it's special something and I remembered about doctor saying I will become Psychologist, I wonder if true, "helping the research for 2 times" something about this, I really hope there's a shortcut to become a genius like doctor, but I really don't know how. My life is horrible, I saw a video that Ex-President Halimah Yaakob was a cleaner then it energizes me again, I maybe can become somebody in life in future, I hope I become a successful man 1 day, I didn't score 100% during N-level for nothing, I wanted to achieve something great in life. Then I don't have a girl now, it's sad my life is like this.
I have no support from girls, they just exist in my life for what reason then, why do I feel something that's love then I can't get them? Why is it like this? How can I be happy again? I know there's something I must never give up about - which is looking for love. But at this era, alot of girls are not virgins, they could be thinking of their ex then making me unhappy, I really can't do anything about a girl's memory, but maybe will think like maybe their ex makes them happier, I really don't know what to do, how can I get a perfect girlfriend?
All the girls I ever loved became hard to reach or get, their status became so high that I can't get them at all, I'm just becoming a lousy man while in love with them? I really don't know what I will become.
There's no energy about working at Popeyes anymore, so I don't know what I will work as, what will happen to me? What happened to all the stories of doctor about my future? It all just remain as a story? Something about "if" and that's all? Doctor really not telling me what I will become in life, I don't know why but it's not nice thinking this way, like thinking of jobs from jobclub is maybe not fun then I will quit to try work at Popeyes, is like the thing that's happening to my life, I wonder what I will work as, is it really a Pallet Job?
Today my mother cook Gado-Gado, I wonder what Sakinah, Shahridah and Wahdiah eats, there's something that make me feel like they will eat the same but I just don't know what makes me think of it as nothing, it's maybe just a story that happens in my mind, like voices of smallgirl lying to create me hopeful then crush my feelings "because it's a lie" again, I really lost all of them because of Alisha, she's a freak, I really hate her not like my parents that maybe love her so much. Hahaha.
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