Still a lot to use I wonder when I will stop writing about data is it important at all? It was just the excitement of having a Simba line and nice number that's all.
The voices became a lot ever since I used the quit smoking inhaler, and it became harsh type of voices like a heatwave sent to me, like someone shouting from inside hell and their voices like hot, it all came from 1 location - Aircon fan, wherever there's noise there's voices I think. Kinda crazy I just posted link to tell of my dream yesterday, just for accurate dream definition 1 day hahaha.
The quit smoking inhaler made me quite lazy to shower early and I feel sleepy an restful, my legs haven't recovered yet from walking alot yesterday, it's still painful, I don't think it's a relapse, it's just the cold feeling from the inhaler making me feel lazy and wanting to sleep some more. I don't know if I made a rush decision like buying clothes it's because I feel bad how I will work dishwasher and only have the boring t-shirts and nice ones, so I bought t-shirts for myself. It's really stressful about quitting cigarettes but today I don't feel like smoking when I woke up, like the inhaler had done something to get rid of the smoking feeling. I am kinda dizzy about my vision was dark yesterday then now it's blurry and unstable, why quitting cigarette is this feeling? It's like a weight on me to endure.
I wonder what my life will become now that nobody cares if I will ever get Sakinah, it's been over 10 years they all don't care about getting her for me, I will live a solo life working hard and earning money then search for a girl? My life is too difficult and not enjoyable when thinking about money, I'm meant to not become a smoker at all I guess.
I don't know what promoted me to feel schizophrenic maybe it's the bad feeling of quitting cigarette happening first for some days then it will go away, the voices seems clear and loud and I usually cant differentiate if it's voices or people's voice but this time I know it's voices as it's from inside Aircon fan. I'm really feeling lazy now and I think it's luckily 9.20a.m cant shower yet as something okay.
I feel like I should sleep again but I wonder if I can sleep or like a hard feelings at head will happen like right now, it's like a dizzy feeling and unclear vision but I have to keep up being alive. Hahaha.
I think I'll try to just close my eyes for now and hope someone really help me with money 1 day, waiting for June for 38 years old story of getting thousands of dollars is hard. It's so long and unsure and unconfirmed matter because it's about people giving money that's a lot of people too.
No comments:
Post a Comment