Intro of an end

It only felt like ending just now, then I actually still have to wait for the day of employment, then it means in April I still may have to keep working for 3 days a week. The dishwasher job said as at least $10/hr, and at least 6 hours for 5/6 days, I'm really happy it's ending, the break time is like 30 mins twice that's what they said.

It's a dishwasher job in the end, I'm just a normal worker kind of person 1 day, im really not energetic but when I remember a dishwasher job can at least get $2000/mth, then I hope it's something nice I can work at. They won't tell my sickness as schizophrenia but the company will know I need injections and go doctor's appointment, it's really like a loss of energy because the job is only about to be asked, then if imagine April as another month it's so long until I get a job, I really want a nice job to earn more than $1000/mth, it would be sufficient for me, that I don't live like a poor person and always having money hopefully. It's harsh to imagine 3 years of working dishwasher, then saving $50K until 41 years old, it means my job salary is somehow good and a lot.

I'm happy I'm done with today then tomorrow is Tuesday, then Wednesday is also an off day then it's working day again. Just now I was given too much food I think, but I just ate them, another is nasi goreng but a lot of tahu so I threw away all the tahu.

I hope I get a job by March, and it be at Marsiling Mall instead of Orchard, then I requested if no dishwasher job to work Storekeeper or Warehouse Assistant then the man said it's too far, so I won't work as those 2, I wonder what's this mysterious $50K savings in 3 years job, even if it's dishwasher I really hope it's true that I become someone that saves money and not a useless person.

The I.M.H research questions like the most longest feeling I ever felt, even a picking game like using both hands to pick a coin and insert in middle box, I wonder why schizophrenia research is like that, she really wrote a lot and I wonder what it means because she had written a lot. What kind of findings will happen? I really don't know but will they really discover a faster way to recover from schizophrenia? I told her I hear my neighbour's daughter voice still daily, in whispery manner that I thought it's my own thinking, like an inserted thoughts, then told her I thought I'm receiving money, about delusion question she asked, about Alisha saying "$10K dulu!" to make me feel like I will be getting a lot of money and I became angry a lot. I told that the medicine makes my body don't feel hot/angry easily and I dont feel like stopping the medicine as the question is like that if I think I would be fine without the medicine.

They didn't give me an estimation of dishwasher job date, so I will estimate April as 3 working days a week for another 1 month like the previous person, I will still be okay because it's earning money still, then I hope I carry on doing this and not become lazy or useless man, I wonder when Sakinah will meet me again, I told the interviewer I feel hopeless about the future, and I feel like I have no hope, as she ask if I feel like such, then it's true. It's really bad my life, dishwasher, $50K imagination as the only energy left, then I wonder if Hisyammuddin was energetic to work McDonalds at that time, I truly don't feel energetic even if it's a Dishwasher job that I wish for, I really want other jobs but I'm hoping on doctor's story that I will save $50K within 3 years, or even $75K or more. I hope doctor is right about it.