The day of elevator upgrade is 9/3 I thought as 3/3 because of the sounds from outside, it's actually tree cutting sounds I thought a renovation will happen or it's my neighbour that drill I thought as elevator upgrade.
I hope this year I will earn enough money to use the RTS Link frequently to shop in Johor and knowing how to move around at there, I really hope I will be earning good amount of money for this kind of life exploration.
It's weird this Ayatul Kursi necklace I feel like I had it before in the past then I loss memory about it, I wonder where it goes to then.
I wonder when will I recover the voices of Alisha still live I assume as her voice if it's a small girl, as it's like a whispery voice, then it's definitely her I think, I don't know why schizophrenia is like this remembering voices by hearing over and over again, there's really no way out of the fooling sentences said to me, I may still be fooled into thinking I will get money, it's harsh she toy with matter of money the impact is great as it's the most important thing in the world, I definitely cant recover faster like this.
I just now walk at undertunnel then a Chinese said "yang qi" then I read it's about warmth, I feel like I wear shorts and t-shirt as something funny to them then got laughed at, I think it's schizophrenia making me wear anything and still go out of house. I feel like a mad man and most probably I was laughed at for my funny wear outside house. At 38 years old I still became like crazy about the wear of clothes, I really don't know what I can do. I used to wear jeans whenever I go out then now I don't have jeans anymore, then it's only like 10mins of going out, so I just wear like pakaian rumah. I'm so unlucky I maybe viewed as someone crazy as fact then I thought I'm normal, no doctors saved me about this too, I thought the wear is nice as fact, Jogjakarta T-Shirt and Shorts. What a luck I even wrote this on my blog.
My TikTok videos happens a lot of views but I don't know who is it, I was assuming Sakinah would be viewing me but there's no notification of who viewed me, only if videos got liked then there's notifications. I really didn't get to see Sakinah actively alive and I am thinking how to move on from thinking of her, my life like meaningless already, I thought I already moved on when I was with Wahdiah and Shahridah, then I loss memory and loss them somehow I feel it happened then they really didn't come back to me, means I spoke something that they agreed to be far away from me, I'm so unlucky I got no one ever since then. Alisha really ruined my life, I would be living life with them now then Alisha have ruined my life, more than 15 years of experiences gone and I don't get to spend time with a girl, I experience a life without a lover then in the future(now) I experience seeing Shahridah's status as "Mdm" in school, doesnt it mean it's actually "Married"? Why did she do this to me?
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