Sunday, April 12, 2026

Day 241 outside ward(289 on medications)

I think that blog is not necessary anymore as my life updates like nobody cares anyway, schizophrenia really an insane feelings that I have to experience daily then hopeful I recover faster from the medicine.

This is the job I wanted to do so I think I will continue tomorrow because the penalty is maybe $500 I imagine by hearing voices again, it's really harsh the job to be like this, money is something they don't let me have even if I work hard, means they consider themselves as "knowing if I am able" to work to ignore me and put me like in a ruling feeling from others.
It's almost 1 year and I haven't recovered from schizophrenia it looks like that, like there's no way that I will recover, I still hear voices unluckily my sickness makes me think I am actually insane and people don't care about the loss of pleasure I feel in life just because I have schizophrenia, means actually I'm just like a topic to talk about but actually nobody truly cares about my loss in life.

It's me wanting this job then if I didn't go like bad for my O.T, something that I forgot last year as my wish to keep working here, I wonder why it's like this too, the bad feelings appear to feel like quitting but I just aim to carry on and work hard peacefully hopefully. I plan to become like a normal person, but they didn't treat me like a nicer experience to not be loss in life, I experienced loss of pleasure then loss of experiences too, means I really loss a lot in my life, it's just a bad life I'm having.

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Day 307 out of ward(355 on medications)

Just 10 days left to be 1 year on medications, I'm finally recovering I hope I will be cured soon. Anyway Happy Birthday Shahridah/Aby! ...