I don't understand

It's maybe going to be $0 addition to my life, I wonder how doctor don't feel bad about it, other doctors don't mind about it too, if they know I'm going to quit smoking doesn't it mean they should just give me my money, I considered myself have quit smoking anyway, I became to grow angry when I don't smoke and wanting to smoke more because of this, they just made it worse for me, I can't survive like this, they don't give me anyone to talk to also. Means I just wait in empty promises of receiving money then I don't get the money.

$306 I still a lot, if combine with last year it's definitely a lot of hundreds, if combine with job I did in the past, it's definitely a lot of money they've held away from me. If they look at Camera to see I am a smoker, then why are they psychics? Means my number is given by someone since long time ago, then it means I should masturbate to their wife or daughter, making enemies with them 1 day. They chose to stay in my life so it's going to become this way. It will definitely happen if I don't get money by May including if I have quit smoking by then(because their wish is like that). Smoking is just tobacco and my brother survive since N.S remaining as a smoker and even ever bought a house then they want to talk about saving money a different way.

I think I've decided to making enemies with my doctors, then if I quit smoking to just have my money back, then just make enemies with them still because I wanted to cut down anyway at first I just feel like I can't yet is why, then I have to explain kind of writings it's like a heavy weight treatment, I heard to learn psychology can become crazy, maybe doctors became crazy and took my money away, it's like the doctor that meth for 8 years then got caught after 8 years, means not all doctors are innocent. Definitely I will win if sue because cigarettes are sold at shop anyway.

I don't know why they all became my adopted parents, they are all high status, means it's a small world kind of thing, like I actually know a lot of people that's important in this country without my knowledge due to memory loss. Even if they're high status I don't get my hacker job easily, its really too long, they don't worry of money because they have money while I worry of money because I became a man that usually have no money. I think to give up on Sakinah just because of this, by right I am nothing to her anyway.

They all believe in Satan talking to me most probably but they are thought to believe that Satan tak dekat orang2 beriman, then means they call me tak beriman then, then how doctor say I will become Wali Allah at 38 years old if tak beriman? It's a waste voices of Alysha are like Satan talking to me, her statements are confusing me daily then I only have today left as rest day, it's really hard I have to go through this life in pain then if they are psychic and knew I would smoke as fact but let me be feeling stress instead of just peace like my brother smokes daily without anyone controlling.

They don't know smoking relieves a kind of pain in body and just judge like a robot statement that's fixated to rejected cigarettes. If I didn't smoke in the past I maybe wouldn't be stable on schizophrenia, like higher stability in life. Smoking really creates stability to a schizophrenic person.

It feels like wanting to tantrum and just skip work already because Friday is Good Friday anyway I thought I skipped work, then on the same day discovered it's a Good Friday, I really don't know why so much anger collected into me all of a sudden starting for jobclub's money into Alysha's voices then daily thinking of money.