I've bought my kitchen shoes then this happens to me, I really don't know if I can work today because of diarrhoea, I really want to work it's something I don't want to regret, if doctor gave me my jobclub money maybe I won't feel so bad, yesterday I smoked 4 sticks last box, today I bought storm king rolling tobacco instead it costs $4.30, I really don't see why doctor should block my money, cigarettes are sold in public place. If government ban cigarettes in Singapore then it means they disallow smoking, but why is it like this?
I'm wide awake now waiting for the time to go to work, I really feel I must work hard, it's the era of world war 3 appearing, Iran don't want to lose due to the story like a Prophecy that Iran will win the war, America is having trouble like Iran can block Strait of Hormuz and disturb the market worldwide, the war by America causes prices to be increased, definitely America will be hated by the world 1 day.
I don't know why it's like this, the energy of war to make me commit myself to keep working is like not enough, doctors knew they can energize me by telling me if I would go to work but they didn't, it's really bad it have to be like this, today I ate some slices of bread with egg sambal kacang, I really hope I won't get diarrhoea, I still have a lot of resting time before working hour, I really want to enjoy earning money but the feelings like this.
I am sad I have been ruled to quit smoking "if not no money" like an ultimatum, I really can't do this heavy weight quitting, I am trying slowly by turning into storm king. There's no calls from doctor about me continuing my job but I guess it's another 1.30p.m to 7.30p.m today, hopefully I don't get diarrhoea, I really don't want to go if have diarrhoea, it's really a bad feeling to keep needing the toilet, it's like a bad weight to experience in life.
I am re-energized a little by the plant photo at my wallpaper - sometimes it's difficult... but not impossible. I really want to believe this quote and earning money is my desire, can doctor tell me my energy of work if I will keep working. They have a reason like "if I work 1 month means I'm a psychiatrist/psychologist", to mean that my PES E9L9 I probably can't work unless I'm that status, it's really weird it's only 6 hours and I want to do it.
I hope Sakinah energize me somehow, then my first days at work Ustaz Harun is not around it means I heard voices of Alysha that Ustaz will tell me my future there that I will keep working, then I didn't on PH, then this is hard because even Ustaz didn't visit me it means Alysha lied to me by making a voice of male that intended to give me money to buy the jacket at TikTok. It's really a tough life already then Alysha exist as part of my life journey and experience difficulty from her sentences she created, I'm so unlucky to be chosen to be attacked by her, it's like "seen by a crazy person and victimized" kind of luck in my life. It don't always happen and it's something rare to be attacked by a crazy person then it happened to me.
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