Jobclub money not in yet

It's weird to keep going job if never get jobclub money, they need to help me by telling me about it instead of just keeping quiet and not transfer my money, then I don't have confidence in doing this job, I think I should take off today for the voices of Alysha, but I still feel like going to work, it's a waste doctor ever said, then maybe I miss 1 day and 1 day off, it's really unknown why it's like this, it's maybe $1400+ or it's even the end already.

I feel bad today I woke up too early 7a.m because of my brother's voice making his son speed up for school, it's weird I feel like I should work and not at the same time due to the restlessness I have, it's just starting of work then I miss work it's bad it's like that, I think doctor maybe talking about something else, maybe I will get other job that's $1500+, maybe my life is not ending yet, I just have about less than 1 hour left to go to work then I feel this anger from Alysha, I really dont know if I will go, why am I in dilemma anyway, the pain is nothing it can be healed in a day then I'm like this instead.