Sakinah didn't energize me like Hisyammudin was energized at workplace by his lover at that time of this phase of life, he truly got supported by people but me under a strict ruling like a bombardment of pain into my life, even jobclub money I didn't receive as the only energy to quit my work, I really will be short of money if I quit my job, I don't know why doctor didnt call me to tell me if I would continue working, it's just a guess that I "will continue work" anyway, it's really painful but life have to be this way, I truly have no one to accompany me in my life, I am surviving like a survivor instead. Jobclub after ward was fine, then job after jobclub is quite tough, my O.T said if I'm okay it is okay, then I continue working anyway, I really have no confidence with my work at all, but on first day I felt like doing a lot of O.T was truly energize I wonder why I feel like this now, can someone call me up? It's really crazy the feelings like not getting jobclub money and still going to work, it's really bad but I am doing something bad.
I hope I perform well for this job, it's my last day of the week anyway, it's 4 days straight of work today is my 4th, it's 6 hours, and I really don't know if I can do it, I am imagining the 7.30p.m wait from 1.30p.m, it's really a long standing job, and Mandy said it's a standing job if I'm okay, I wonder if she can offer me a different job then, a cheaper salary one that's lighter to work, I really don't know if there's such thing, I really feel like continuing at jobclub kind of feelings, but then I work here again, a place that I ever don't get my salary then they put me at a place I ever failed again, it sucks why it's like this the feelings?
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