Will I even last until June?

It's 11.21p.m, I have about an hour left to go to work, it's really weird I remembered about doctor saying he will work here also, as undercover because have a mastermind, then he told me to wait and he will come to accompany me, it's something I would be happy about to have someone that I know working with me, but why is doctor so free then?

I wonder what's going to happen, because the other doctor didn't call me to tell me if I will continue working, maybe because I will continue working so it's not needed kind of answers? Maybe telling $1400 is enough? Why is he unsure when he speak it, I really want to do this job, can doctor manage me like how he will manage hospital about knowing the problems etc., I really don't want to tarnish my name at workplace, my first day at missing PH is example of me not gotten to remember about it, I still work yesterday is the shock as I really want to continue, I thought nobody will settle about me not coming on PH but Wei Jie my O.T settled it then he say it's fine just continue working as he already let know, I really want lightness in my life like a lot of money, but only smoking is in the way of money flow, it's really bad it have to be this way.

I will message my brother later to tell that doctor didn't give my allowance and I hope I don't become lazy from working due to the sadness, it's now raining soon but I'm going to work anyway, means I maybe will feel sleepy in bus but I will drink Red bull anyway, my last one, it's really harsh changing my lifestyle suddenly, will I feel like yesterday or I'm in better today? I feel stronger today, the pain no longer around, maybe due to warm water when I shower. I wish like Sakinah communicate with me as I go to work, but she's just too occupied and focus on earning money, as she's working today I guess she got no time for me as weekends is days with her niece, I'm really bored I can't have a nice life unless I get to earn money. I remember last year's money was not given to me by doctor too, some sort of "penalty for not going to work" as a story, I wonder if it's true they just take my hard earned money away like that. I hope they mentally support me but I'm focused on condition that it's a jobscope anyway, I really don't feel like doctor exist sometimes to feel demoralized about information about me, I really hate to panic, psychic should know my feelings then I dont understand why they don't comfort me along in their communication about me, I just have to believe doctor that I will go work everytime and get my money, it's bad taking so long and "have to be this way" because "it's the rule".

I really hope doctor appear sooner than 1 month of work, because he said he will undercover as dishwasher, I really hope my neighbour joins me as dishwasher too because he also don't have a job, but I really don't know if they read, the Company is CleanMark Solutions at Tampines IKEA bus stop, I really don't know if I will have any friends that understand me, focus on money for world war is the only energy left? Cant someone give me an energy of work?