It's a daily feelings

I think I will feel like this daily, I only have 1 stick left to smoke my last one before work then throw lighter in the bin, it's really weird I will be in situation of believing doctor that I will work daily then quit smoking at the same time, it's definitely something like a weight to me but doctor said that smoking lessen the weight to go to work, I really don't know I will only find out tomorrow, yesterday the pain from working is not bad at all then I wonder why its painful my first 2 days there, at least this time I managed to do work for 3 days, I only have 17 days left of work, I really don't feel good how doctor don't update me about money that I don't receive last year and jobclub's current money, I think it's a really childish manner of care like creating tantrum, anger and sadness, my plan didn't go smoothly it is harsh but have to be this way, I really need money but they not giving me money.