I saw videos of Facebook "Ming Ming Ming" I assume as another schizophrenic that got caught by police for skipping the injection, then he looks fine able to post 1 hour ago, maybe he's in Ward 35A? I imagine like I experienced something like that before or not? Like I was stopped by Police for skipping medicine or injection? It was really scary the imagination of being warded so I understand his fear, so he tried to Live and record the Police but still Law didn't give way and got him back into I.M.H, it's really weird but I also feel he should just go back home after taking the injection that he missed. Its unfair people are schizophrenia then have symptom of "scared of people", then after all the scare suddenly be warded again, it's really bad the thinking of being warded over and over again.
I really imagine or hope my neighbours help me about counsellor like writing the good and bad side of me but I inform none of them to do it, they are the witnesses to Alysha's attacks then I think everyone decided to give chances because she's so small and weakling as fact looking like someone easy to die as fact, it's really too much Alysha took advantage of niceness or kindness and became a verbal and physical abuser. I hope doctors talk to counsellor if witness or know of Alysha so my counsellor can believe me more of what happened. I hope doctors email my counsellor.
It's just too much the attacks that I can't forgive even after 20+ years especially after causing the break or split up between me & Wahdiah or me & Shahridah, it's really evil how my feelings became not nice thinking of them and it hurts me a lot but Alysha had done it, even my parents like control to put me into I.M.H yearly without comforting me by talking about revenging Alysha. Allah is slow dalam balasan then we don't know why Allah works like He does, doa tak terkabul and she still in university, I prayed she relapsed or fail her university but "doa orang dianiaya tak terkabul", it's really sad how actually it's like a theft that got away peacefully as fact, a crime people know but let go because Law doesn't do anything to her.
I'm so unlucky in life, including Dina at that time then nobody pitied us and fight for us using Lawyer, we have no counsellors knowing about it for over 20 years then we live our life having difficult periods because Alysha didn't pay penalty quicker. We have to experience difficulties in life when money can make our life easier. It's really tough to believe that Allah balas balik, like zikir for money, didn't get money too, I zikir a lot but tak terkabul. It's really harsh to not believe of Islam anymore but Ustaz also didn't help to make-believe of earning the money from zikir like supporting Allah's statement if Allah. It's really harsh but even Ustaz didn't help me to talk to my parents it's so disappointing. They all have a life like work and family, then I guess nobody really want to help me after all as wanting their nice feelings in life I'm just a burden to think about. Its easier that "I don't get what I don't get" despite usaha, so D.U.I.T don't sound real at the same time, I guess my last usaha for money is counsellor then I don't know if it will work too. It's really tough, zikir adalah usaha tapi tak dikirakan. So what Puan Hamidah Bahashwan was talking about only made me berangan for a nicer life, especially she saying "rumahku syurgaku" I don't feel like heaven at all.
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