1219? Hahahaha the number of viewers of my previous posts.
The kambing korban that my parents brought home are 2 rectangular big Tupperware, I still feel sad of my life difficulty they korban for pahala then I can't say anything, life is a survival even if knowing I will survive until August, it still pains me and they don't care about it. My life is harsh already with schizophrenia, repetitive of Alysha's voices verbal abuse, then paliperidone gives anhedonia then parents won't give money like government.
Jennie looks like Aby a little bit I would think she's Aby in a different face wearing if I'm schizophrenic and I would become angry she wore like that on stage, I feel that she became like a sacrifice to earn money when I was schizophrenic because I thought I lost her then she didn't appear to make me think wrongly of losing her, she let me believe i've lost her. Their(Shahridah and Wahdiah) care are no good too as the flaw exist when I'm in difficulty, they let me suffer all alone without being with me by my side even when I got "day out" at ward for some hours, they didn't visit me or attempt to get to know about me, they let me be alone until now and didn't energize my happiness of whether I still have them in my life, they just live on with their life forgetting me easily like nothing.
My life is so unlucky even with talks like Puan Hamidah Bahashwan I'm let to berangan until I'm hitting 38 years old soon, they didn't effort to connect me with my kekasih at all, maybe I assume it's because of "relationship is Haram", it's just too bad they're movement not helpful to me, they just speak to attract interest then I'm turning 38 years old already, don't know why she buat berangan at Masjid Sultan "that everything will be okay", so disappointing, I thought I can become her manpower like hacking for parents to spy their own children etc. kind of mission to earn big money in the/any psychological movement that bond a lover together, I really want to be like that bonding someone in love together because it feels bad to split up and I don't want others to suffer like me. Her talk is big but even if believable it didnt happen to me as I'm turning 38 years old already, it's really sad and disappointing.
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