Anyway in Singapore have another case of murder with the name of "Mohamad" then definitely will be hanged till death I think, then he jumped from 18th storey then still alive and in hospital, it's really weird maybe that's the power of the name, keeping someone alive from such a fall of height, will "Mohamad" etc. commit suicide? I imagine that's the only thing left that never happened in the world, maybe will be hanged to death? Like the gayboy "Muhammad" a police, it's really weird seeing these name as "evil", maybe they must change their names. Why a gayboy then not called a kafir at newspaper? Like "became a kafir". It's really weird, the name is so sensitive then they do such thing. Does power in the names exist like people will talk of such thing in the names? Will a bad name do a good deed? I imagine, will Ustaz really talk about this kind of things to me? I will wonder why they aren't called a kafir or be demanded by MUIS to change religion.
I saw another guy that thought he is Dajjal by name of "Nor Hafiz", another Allah's name, maybe he thought he is Dajjal because of his name? Or he is schizophrenic like me? He looks schizophrenic, will Ustaz actually approach him and talk to him like ask why he thinks he's Dajjal? What if someone with a bad name do a good deed, can they change their name into "Muhammad"? Wouldn't it match and become more peaceful in sight?
At the moment tomorrow is Saturday and then Sunday, then today don't look like a holiday at Calendar, so I don't know why my nephew is on holiday from school. So nvm I guess it's his right maybe.
Means today counsellor going to call my father maybe and settles it, I hope somehow it's an easy conversation with me if have to talk to me.
I hope people E-mail their point of view to counsellor about my parents way of care if it's scaring me because a schizophrenia symptom is "scared of human", to feel scared means to feel hot in heart, then if they're too strict won't it turn me like a gay man? I'm 38 years old soon, then it's 2 years too late if no counsellor helps me if it happens at 40, I really can't be with a lover before 40 years old and get married before this age? People really want to make me marry at 41 even? It is like "Al" spelled in hackers' way of talking, then it is usually in front of Allah's names, why must it be like that to think positively of others' plan like "siding my life" when actually they have made me grown old without help of getting the person I love because it's "their version of way" instead? It's really unlucky of me to be intruded in trying for relationship with matters like "relationship is Haram", then I feel it when I'm too old or becoming a fat person, or marrying a fat girl, etc. it's just bad for me.
I hope someone see that my brain still works then they should be nicer to me already.
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