I really don't know what to do, I kept thinking of the same thing over and over again, I really don't feel comforted when they're gone it's like an energy of my life gone, I became a weaker man as fact, I really don't know or understand why the anticipation of "demands to work", it's really hard like I am having mental illness but have expectations that will anger my heart, I really tired of telling "it's not that I don't want to work", but maybe I heard Alysha's voices again causing me to be angered. I notice or realize it too late after have written all this, means she just whispery voice to cause me heartache many times then I have to feel this way, if she had shut up then I wouldnt be hearing voices, I'm so unlucky the voices hit my heart to remember the bad feelings, I don't know why its like a torture but doctors don't comfort me this time, I have no pleasure to experience for a long time in life, it's anhedonia that she created then anhedonic from medicine too, it's 2 times the anhedonia then no one sued her for me to try enjoy my life with her money, it's really crazy people are not justice enough for this, nobody really cares about me.
It's too much to wait for me to understand how it works to sue her, they are really heartless like letting me wait for money instead, people are not being nicer it means doctor is not my counsellor, I wonder how to have 1 in my life, it's really bad I have nobody. Nobody helping me from her voices.
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