Dark vision again

Today experience dark vision again, it's faster than usual now, I stopped walking around then still experience voices that's like creating anger in my heart, I think I'm supposed to memory loss but it didn't happen, it's weird why my body or eyes are like this, I think there's no way to stop such thing from happening again and again, it's just my luck I can exercise walking too much, maybe I do 10K steps a day then it happens, I suspect like that much.

I don't understand my body at all, I'm hearing voices of Alysha so loud from the fan, even if I take my medicine daily, she survive in the fan somehow lol, but someone like her can't die yet as haven't paid me and Dina anything, it's really crazy my memories so painful to me.

I really don't know what to do, daily it's expected to become dark vision because of walking too much, I don't understand why it's like this. It's so sad and anger at the same time, but walking exercises makes me feel good a little bit.

Being having to hear back Alysha's voices as my memories plays back, I feel so bad luck again, like it can never end, but I really don't know I watch a video that a schizophrenic suddenly the mind became clear when have been cured and a lot of sleepiness if take medicine, I just waiting for such signs right now.

I hope my heavy eyes are due to sleepiness and not walking too much causing me tired instead. I really want to be cured.

I have no way of knowing which day of 38 years old I will recover, but I hope doctor tells me 1 day, it's an obvious question if doctors are around in my life right now, then there's no doctors to answer me because they feel it's enough maybe.

I think I'm supposed to memory loss just it didn't happen many times, I'm sad whenever I hear Alysha's voice then I'm angry I need to write this as a man, to be sad because of a small girl that's easy to die, it's like a weakling expression. I hope her voices die away from my life, then I can't do anything about it.

It sucks as a man to write this down, like pulling the nerve kind of feelings, it's really like an angry feeling mixed in but I just need to feel better and blog is meant for this anyway.

I don't know what to do now just dark vision and sitting at sofa, it's so boring. I remember that I feel like buying an Android stand and wired microphone, I hope I will buy them 1 day, I am just waiting to see how my life will go. Will I be happy to sing a song? Will the song create sadness in my eyes? Haha.

I feel like doctor just lie about me winning competition in Star Maker without my knowledge at first, but I really don't know maybe doctor just knew I am a champion's voice without listening to me sing first because doctor is psychic. Smoking made it difficult to sing but I really feel like doing it anyway soon.