I dreamt something about going down and up escalator, then work as wrapping something then I woke up I think. If dreams have meaning then I loss my guide about dream meaning to Sakinah, she's the only one occupied with psychics daily, then I don't know who can answer for me the door except myself, to be courageous, due to schizophrenia would be "scared of people" I guess, schizophrenia is really crazy sickness I wonder why a human is made to feel such thing in life that is only once.
Nostalgia of life is gone due to this police warning in my mind, I wanted a peaceful recovery phase but just 1 piece of plastic they want to make me feel this painful, it's really an angry feeling. I hope they don't come again and doctor settled by this acknowledgement that I probably know the reason, then it's done, doctor didn't call me to comfort me but let me survive into pain, even if it's schizophrenia "to be independent", then why I save to endure the pain? It's really uncaring how the stress of just piece of plastic then causing me to be warned (maybe) then it's better to throw inside own home as fact, the anticipation of heat creation into heart by scolding is already painful then it becomes worse "a stranger knocking at door" to warn. Of course I will imagine c.w.o and summon, my parents really don't know how to care for own child, it's just cigarette but it's like this. I feel that if my 2nd sister's ex-husband is around, he would side me about this, if they don't scold there won't be any littering, it's just the panic and the mess in bag causing it.
The treatment to be warded if smoke is another pain in life that they don't care and try to do it like that. It's really bad and real torture to my life, having no life then life in I.M.H, it really sucks, I feel like being created into an insane man instead of proper care, they are not loving at all about my schizophrenia condition. I don't have anyone to talk to makes it worse.
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