Day 276 out of ward(324 on medications)

Good morning, it is really bad the unhappiness in my heart early morning, thinking Monday they would come again, I probably will leave the door open to "take the warning", it's really harsh just a piece of plastic but they take it seriously like that. I really feel dead. I hear voices just now then I don't know if it's my neighbour or downstairs at block, or it's just voices, it wakes me up from almost falling asleep again, of men talking, I don't know in the morning the silence can bring a voice from level 1 to 10 clearly? So it's maybe voices? As I'm hopeful that the knock on door are just voices and sounds, it's really stressful I have nobody helping me and care about my writings, that's why I start writing a journal as I plan to remain silent again like N level high scores, when I thought of leaving my parents forever as I can score high in exams anyway - always 100% until warded. It's really sad nobody really cares about me then I have to endure matter of littering, they move fast means it's not so serious if not they would have waited at door I think.

I have nobody to talk to about my stress but just take it like a big blow everytime into my heart, it's really like a heart attack because it's just a piece of plastic but they don't care, action of Law probably don't kill a person anyway, but exist matter like I.M.H nurses been sentenced in court anyway, maybe mine is too much aggressive anyway for checking fingerprint. It's really crazy.