Good Monday I Hope

When I'm thinking of the word "suicide" it reminds me of a man that wanted to commit suicide in I.M.H he knock his forehead until it bled, then a lot of blood rush out he looks dramatic and real about suicide, I feel that he never ate his medicine and maybe spit in toilet. I remember he will feel like someone is disturbing him but it could just be hearing voices, my memory of him are such voices.

With so little cigarette I wonder if I will survive, I remember from Puan Hamidah Bahashwan is that I will quit smoking when the price of tobacco is $4.30, then I wonder if true, it's really a difficult life journey as a smoker.

Anyway my shop now have a Pokemon Card area then I think a lot of kids will appear to look at them, making the shop having more customers, it's really cool that I feel everything as new, then August is 1 of the happiest day + Police camera now have colours! Wow, it's a new life for me I guess, I need to be energetic by these changes. Then renovation to my home from "Home Improvement Programme" of HDB, everything will feel new then I should do something new too like studying hard for my O level, I really don't know if I should do O level or I.T course, it's really a dilemma but I think of just trying for O level anyway as it opens the pathway towards many jobs that require O level.

The numbers of viewers in my previous post were only 7, then I remember sometimes it jumps to 18 etc. I wonder how interesting I became and I feel like doing TikTok advert to increase viewers so everyone knows that Alysha is evil and she have no peace in University, I really don't want her to be forgiven unless she pays me back something, then she didn't use her initiative to pay me back too, it's really unforgivable.

I wonder for how long Sakinah will let me suffer thinking of her and only a distance communication by psychic(of the way I talk), then it's not real communication at all with her, then she really just got to enjoy her time with psychics, not that I really mind, because it's about me in the end, I wonder how long she really just staying on like that, then I wonder about Wahdiah and Shahridah too, I'm turning 38 but they still haven't appeared yet, I wonder which one will appear into my life first, it's really crazy the wait for them, I really just going with the flow of their decision to stall this long for a relationship to happen again, it's like there's no promises or like promises won't be kept, I really don't know because it's too long and hardly a promise will happen, sadly.

I really enjoy my time watching TikTok of Zoe Lim and Klay.Hole, they're the best interesting people I read or watch, they're not boring at all in my view then they update so slow and like having a life better than mine sadly, I really have no life.

I'm using the computer now I think and writing more later MAYBE. Anyway I'm happy I have money to last until August. Woohoo. Lucky life.