Kenyang today

Ate Sardine and rice then something like lontong and pulot with chicken, my mother back from kampung and she brought the food. It's really nice and even if ate a little of them I feel full, and I ate corn custard too, it's really nice too.

My brain kinda in pain maybe because of smoking but then smoking makes it lose the pain too, its weird my luck being like this, I really don't know what's the cause of pain, maybe too little cigarette as fact.

I've started using my $100, as I finished $80 already, and it's 18/5/26, like 12 days left, I hope I survive with $100 being enough for the rest of the month, then it means I will have $80 left to bring onto next month, August is the happy moment and it takes time for it to happen, it's also the month that my elevator will siap, then having 2 elevators again. The town council require us to remove our bicycle downstairs so I wonder what is it about, is my house becoming like new, what are they changing at bicycle places? Is it adding flooring? Haha. It really makes me feel happy like everything new, like New Simba line, New Elevator, it means like new life to me, I'm excited about studying for O level next year, I really imagined myself scoring high again then this time I'm completing the medicine intake so it means I won't be warded and it means that I will get to study for entire year properly this time, I'm really happy about it. It seems like I won't be working as a Soldier, then maybe that story is only when after my O, A or Degree, even Diploma, I really want to have at least Diploma in life, it's the final destination kind of goal, but then I aim higher because I want to be a psychologist, I really wanted Master Degree in Any Computer Studies, so I actually won't give up just yet, schizophrenia had dragged me into becoming an old man thats still going to be taking O level unfortunately, I havent levelled up in matters of education, I'm so lagged behind in life, I feel sad about it.

I'm looking forward to my 2027 and 2028 as the best years of my life as it is either O and A level or O and Diploma, I'm really excited about it, and I'm sad how I still have to be alone in doing it, nobody from my past like friends came back for me to chat with for almost 1 year already of taking medicine, then they didn't appear when I don't take medicine too, it's really a boring feeling about my life, their lifestyle definitely became different leaving me way behind in life.

I'm happy like I didn't really become like Zoe Lim(Ang Zhi Wei @ TikTok) that says nonsense or write nonsense this time, maybe due to taking medicine I'm much more stable in my mind and heart. Then I've been walking too much and nobody can help me about it except that I hope it's going to be peaceful vision after that. I hope I go through this month peacefully.