I didn't follow, I feel like my life like a coma, if I was there then I would be in the photo and feeling different about my life journey and experience, it's really weird why life like a nightmare of hearing voices and became to look like the one having such mind from the hallucination, I can become delusional like people gifting me things and money due to Alysha's stories making me thought some people are giving me something, it's really heavy then my parents didn't give me anything even if 6 months on medications. They really left me solo to eat medicine daily like trusting me or find it not important at all, it's really weird they really like don't care if I don't have a life and always being at home.
I thought spending time with my parents are the only things left to do in life being 38 years old soon, then they 70 and 73 years old, their time of life even if doctor said will live until 100+ years old, we really don't know still until it happens. Yesterday I hear voices of Alysha then I became remembering there's more witness to her attacks, it's really crazy she attack because of knowing she likes to bully toddler, she became like a mad girl many times but no one handle her into I.M.H or girls home, she got lucky the age of girls home is over then it's still prison left to think of unless given chances, it's really sad how nobody really talk about her like boiling and reminding me good parts of life like she's hated together instead of by me alone, it really feels like I'm the only person that hate her in the family, but I really don't know.
Yesterday I only post 3 times and I'm happy about the little number of posts it means like I feel more stable in life maybe, I just want to have a good life. I remember a house we live in should feel like "rumahku syurgaku", but it's a lot of pain and panic instead, or anxious if Club Heal describes it, it's really bad it's not peaceful at all. I wonder if the counsellor would help create the home more peaceful to live in.
No comments:
Post a Comment