Night Time[Day 2]

It's finally over, the stress about litterbug hunters, still I remember that last year maybe it was "the next week" that someone came to warn about throwing litters, it's bad I feel they are evil because it's just a piece of plastic, messing my family's decision about putting me into I.M.H, it's just unforgivable, I realize that there's not even "1 day" that someone in my family will help me about putting me out of ward, they all appear "glad" that I experience something bad in my life, like a "gratefulness to Allah" to my warded experiences, I am sad they are heartless and torture me like nothing.

I don't know what to do anymore, I feel the day becomes closer as it's Wednesday tomorrow, the visit was on Thursday, then it's maybe Friday, I have 3 days left to go through then hope it's not "shift work" as reason like last year I think, I really don't remember but it's like that, she was "off location" on the shift then didn't appear at my door as the story, it's really sad that Law handle things like this, no peace of mind at all. I've maybe collected more litters than I've thrown, because each cigarette is about $300 summon if throw the filter because it's so small and hard to sweep, I've collected so many maybe thousands of cigarettes in my life, as I reroll the tobaccos to smoke in the past. My family let me suffer like a beggar collecting cigarettes on the floor, to tear it then collect the tobacco to roll and smoke. I don't know why they became so heartless, I really feel that they don't know how to care their child, because even at 38 years old, I'm suffering and going crazy. Other people's life are easier causing me to lose so much experiences in life as others experienced more in life. Like my 1st sister cruise ship, my 2nd sister went to Gold Coast, my brother ever went to Japan, my parents went to Bali, and my Father went to many countries when he was a Seaman in the past, I'm the least travel person in this family, then I can't do anything about it.

I wonder what makes their heart feels like they did nothing to me, they didn't even compare me properly with life of others that are easier life than me, I'm so unlucky in my life.

I don't know what to do, I have no one to guide me in life, to tell me what to say, to tell me what to answer as long as peace is obtained, then it means I'm made to be stressed daily about unnecessary things like litterbug hunters, it's really crazy the Law's way of wasting their money just to check 1 fingerprint, or is it they use a flour instead, still can buy maybe 1.5L bottle with the money to buy flour, it's really bad, it's not worth it but they pay people to do this kind of stuff.