Still voices @ fan and softer

Really hard to differentiate if anyone is talking to me, I feel so bad luck that I have a mental problem, my mental is weak, I believe easily, it's surprising to me like even lies I can end up believing even after knowing it's a lie at that point of time, I'm so unlucky my life exist Alysha, she's such a pest in my sight, I really don't know what to do to make her pay, my parents let me suffer for free, my family let her free, I remember I was the only one fighting her, and even if have witness, none of them sued her, it's really bad, she's so lucky in life for getting away. I wonder why schizophrenics believe lies easily and became thinking of it as a belief, luckily I took medicine now been for 1 year I hope it made my brain stronger, I haven't missed a day except taking late on the day my mother locked her door.

I feel like my brain is weak, it means it's like a jelly? It need to be stronger like a sponge? I really don't know my imagination of myself about my brain are like that, it's really sad the recovery taking so long, I'm even reaching 1 year of medications then there's no special recovery of treatment by others, I'm sad the celebration don't exist, I really feel disappointed about it, I hope they remind me more things for me to remember but doctors' not doing it for me, no reminder, just waiting daily after taking medicine for my brain to become stronger.

I wonder why when it's so weak, I scored 100% in exams? It's really weird a weak brain like something not holding me strong, I really just coping my life and understanding as "nobody actually pitied me", they let me live until almost 38 years old with schizophrenia and believed Alysha's lies for over 20 years, it's really bad my life, I really have no one siding me and supporting my recovery, it's really sad and disappointing that a caring person like me, hoping it's in the bloodline(of being caring), then it's just a false-hope, we don't follow our lineage, our heart is ourself maybe, then it's maybe like Nabi Nuh and bad mother, or Nabi Adam and bad son, it's really unknown why the heart is different, I thought people follow their lineage, meaning, if a caring family = caring children, then I'm the only caring one in the family and relatives, they all let me go through this all alone until 38 years old I assume, then I still suffer.

Right now I hear voices, then hear sounds, I heard "bunyi", then have sound outside my door, it's really sad if Alysha still playing or messing my mind, she's just damaging it hoping she will get lucky everytime, it means I never reported to Police, then it's sad if Police don't take action too, I wonder why I hear voices as a memory, what's disconnected in my brain? What's making it weak? Why 38 yrs old recover and not late 37? It's really sad I just surviving my life with voices.