I'm thinking if I would really do my plans in life like taking driving license, buy a small lorry, make ghost hunting adventure group, make website for ghost hunting. It's really boring my life journey, being a solo for more than 15 years already, I wonder why nobody tried to calm me down by trying to chat with me or make me remember stuff, but it's birthday soon, I just hope to go through this nicely especially month of July to be smooth, walking too much makes more voices appear, it's really unhealthy.
I feel like I'm an invisible man, nobody truly cares, it's just version of being caring like multiple definition of it, I'm so lonely and growing old but everyone living their life continuously, no one help me about couple life, I'm made to feel nothing in life, people left me due to schizophrenia's weak mind of believing wrong things easily, then I truly have nobody even until my birthday soon. I find this blog meaningless, like what it's for, why should I keep writing when nobody actually respond. I think I'm going to have my boring life all over again.
My mind is not healthy, it's like rough voices, and even the same story can last for so long as voices, it's a mixed moment of voices of different days then I can't do anything about it.
I wonder how my neighbours are fine just taking medications, they don't feel bored because have company, they are more relaxed than me too, I wonder why I'm always like in a rush or feeling panic, it's so boring, I just have to go through this like no problems at all, then I maybe can cope like my neighbours, just pretending everything as normal in life maybe.
I followed IMH and Schizophrenics on TikTok hoping to have more happiness like knowing their stories, as I want to know if any are like mine. I hope I recover this month on 29th June.
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