Life's playing back my RG477V yesterday I downloaded entire pack of roms for NES games then I can play Contra, an old game, it's really a fun feeling I hope it lasts for a long time, I plan to buy 1TB or 2TB microsd to use on my RG477V because life so boring, I need to play games. I just will try my best battling this anhedonia during my schizophrenia medicine, because the cause of it is my paliperidone but doctor gave fluoxetine to counter it which didn't work for almost 1 year. Suffering from schizophrenia really sucks.
The vision of getting girls like not happening, life is unknown until I'm 38 years old, 39 years old and 40 years old, then I will know what am I becoming in life, it's really a tough experience and people let me feel it like nothing because they don't try to understand schizophrenia. Today is like the final day waiting for counsellor from Club Heal, maybe they won't help me as I smoke storm king, I really don't know, it's just too bad I guess. Their description like will help any way but then they didn't help, it's sad I think. I really have no one to settle my problems like a nicer feeling in life is hard to grasp.
As I became thinking like walking around makes dark vision then IMH create a post that moving makes us healthier, I really became confused on what to do to myself, I really don't want the dark vision to keep happening again and again, I really need to discipline myself from walking too much, but IMH claims moving as something good.
Today I am not following my parents to go out in the morning as I want to write this blog, I really don't know what they will be buying anyway for me later, life's really boring and like a cruel feeling, people maybe won't really help me just because of small cigarette, it's really sad cigarette chase away a help from life, people rather I suffer and blame it on cigarette instead.
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