Day 298 out of ward(346 on medications)

What a journey my life, yesterday I dreamt something complicated then I forgot the dream, then I feel like my brain got something feeling connected in the morning, I thought I will recover soon, it's going to be 38 years old and God didn't give me chance to recover at late 37 years old, 38 have to be the age of recovery as doctor said it as that, then it means I have to endure until 19th June about this feelings.

My mother commented something in my TikTok videos then it's the same usual recovery prayers, I don't know why doa don't do anything to my life it's just the same everyday but people really believe it, it's hard my life I endure so much and knowing something that don't help as something people would tell me to do, then it's meaningless my life just rely on medicine I guess.