Finally I woke up again at 9a.m+ after waking up at 7.30a.m just to take medication, I'm happy how I managed to fall asleep again. Today I dreamt of killing a lot of preying mantis and dreamt of studying algebra in school, messy books. In the dream have a love story that didn't happen, I was supposed to sit down then a girl would sit beside me then it's a guy instead. In the dream I am Arsenal new player that gave scores to Wigan because the ball almost got in, like a Skeeball game kind of hole. It's a mixture of dreams.
Now its only 9.50a.m, I have showered just now then I didn't buy cigarette today hoping I would get to quit, then there's no way for Club Heal to know if I have quit anyway, then psychics probably won't update them on time because cigarette is not their happiness but my happiness, so I dont know what to do, I don't think I will email Club Heal again, it's so disappointing just smoking habit and they can't give in, whatever support they would've done, I would probably just buy myself a laptop with money given from my parents if counsellor managed to make my parents give me money, it's really sad my life surviving as a poor person.
Now I'm left thinking if someone would really buy me a laptop, computer to use at home, even computer table etc. I'm so bored like crazy then nobody cares to help me, I just laying on sofa as usual daily doing my boring writing on blog, no attention really for almost 1 year the number of viewers are just to create feelings into my heart like imagination of an end or help of someone. It's really bad I feel so useless.
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