food and cashbox reached

Ooobun reached then it's just quite nice nothing really special like I imagine, I rate it like 5/10.

My mother's cashbox is here already looking special I didn't open it.

RG477V the games can just keep playing even if die to just continue by pressing Select button it means its "Insert Coin" button like that, I realize I can play alone then I really want the happiness in playing it so I'm not playing it yet. I really want to enjoy myself but anhedonia really bores me.

I wonder what I should do, this keeps being in my mind for almost 1 year I think, always thinking what I should do daily.

It's worrying how it's close to mid June then I still haven't start studying yet like I planned. I wonder what I would be doing in life. Maybe no one would help me after all, I would have to help myself and just study anyway when it's August or October. I wonder why people left me like this for almost 1 year, I'm not improving in my life still blogging like old days, still taking time to "upgrade" in life, feeling so slow and late in many matters of my life. I've never gotten a $3K computer before in the past then my life is just a boring experience but nobody cares anyway because the bills will be a lot, I don't know why they make my life as meaningless about such thing, I thought my father would always keep me updated about games, in the end doctor just say I will spoil them then I don't get games anymore for so long even RG477V I bought myself from my brother's $1000 that he gave me.

I remember if Epul is coming into my life then he would want I.R.C days to be back again then I would have something to do online again, like monitoring his friends to keep them connected in 1 place, like a planner for his life plans. I hope I'm not too late in experiencing the I.R.C days again and I hope it happens.

I wonder what counsellor would do as I plan to make a forumco page for my entire family and relatives to keep connected with my adopted families inside it also to keep updated of our family in an easier way, because some at Johor, etc. and some at Jawa anyway. It would be a nice knowledge point like knowing our families' faces just by being at the website. I wonder why none of my family members believe about Wali Allah highly like me, they seem to not search for a "Pengubat" but wasted like $50 for a kind of Pengubat that only gives me water to drink then a zikir that I've already been doing. It's a waste of money I feel that my family didn't pity me but gave money away like that and it's better giving them to me instead.

Don't know why my families believe about Pengubat when I've been sick for 20+ years, it's just too bad for me. I hope I will be cured 29th June or fastest to be 19th June.