It's night of 15th June

It's a rainy day nowadays, then it's month if June not even December, I feel happy how can feel like cosy feelings a little bit due to the sofa have selimut as cover to sit on, I really hope my recovery happens faster.

I downloaded the HOPES application of I.M.H into my phone, and wrote a journal telling of anhedonia, I hope doctors read and just give me the medicine on 31st August, it's really a tough feeling anhedonia for almost 1 year already, doctor should just give me a medicine for it.

Lately I write a lot and smoke so little, I wonder why my feelings are like this, I really feel weird how smoking little can make me write a lot. I ever thought of studying early for O level then it didn't happen in June sadly, I really clueless of my path in life, maybe I should just get a pass for O level and do a Diploma in Mental Health? I really want something like that, maybe I will skip A level and do just this? If I score high I will then do A level, now the chances of becoming smarter in mental health are a lot more.

I no longer feel like I will pass with flying colours, maybe because I just feel I'm back into a stupid person again, I have no energy to study like the past, it's really weird my energy was wanting to buy desk even and chair to study, then it didnt happen again, luckily I saved my money though.

It's just going to be a short writing as I'm also unhappy how at night time sometimes like a relapse if I write will become odd pleasures the next day, or temporary pleasure only, it's really hard my life but I have to endure this.