Remembered some stuff

I think the food of hari raya and hari raya haji are called as "makanan Dari syurga" because it's so delicious, I remember 1 time I was cured from anhedonia and got addicted to the taste, I thought liquor was inside the food as my heart began to feel good, it was crazy I felt cured for a while, then it's just a nice feeling. I wonder why anhedonia makes taste of food be decreased by % too, the deliciousness is different maybe, the time I ate it I was impacted into becoming too happy then suddenly I loss my memory, my 2nd sister's cooking is so nice and this sambal goreng with paru, daging and prawn is so delicious reminded me of the day I thought all makanan "Dari syurga" have some liquor mixed in, it's so nice but anhedonia really took the nice feelings away from me having to eat more then matches the % of flavour that other people feel. Especially the lies of Alysha that all my families and relatives are Jews, I thought all of them lokek liquor in the food at that time, it's really bad, I imagine Jews as rich people and have a lot of liquor storage secretly, it was tough being a schizophrenic then loving liquor then thought they are Jews that lokek and "not my family bloodline". Alysha is really crazy for making my mind this way, my family or relatives somehow didn't sue her it's so bad, they let me feel tortured by thinking of them having so many liquor storage somewhere.

I'm still confused why a schizophrenic should be the one demanding law to sue Alysha, why not the family or relative of the schizophrenic? Why need to demand if law knew it? Why is it like this? Even Dina was bullied I am a schizophrenic but then I am the one that complained instead, it's so unfair, good thing that Dina didn't experience trauma because she was so small, I'm disappointed at my 2nd sister's way of caring her because didn't report to police about it, as a police herself at that time, I'm shocked she let Alysha go easily and feel free to continue attacking me in different ways.

I thought schizophrenic are mentally weaker then law should just penalize her anyway then wait for us to request if she should be jailed, I however feel only counselling is enough because as the only one protecting Dina at that time, I am definitely disappointed of my 2nd sister and my mother, or father too. It's really bad, my brother was not around I think so he didn't know.

Then there's no letter of receiving money from Alysha even when I'm turning 38 soon, it's really bad, Law didn't help us(me and Dina). It's really weird their way of care, I thought my mother and 2nd sister witnessed Alysha's attacks but they treat that life will be normal as something okay instead. Dina should be living a rich life now by money of Alysha's penalties, but then she's still living life as per normal, it's so boring I didn't see any higher life except McDonald pancakes that Dina ate 1 time ago in the afternoon/night. I feel Dina should have more good food all the time by Alysha's money. Wonder why law didn't help a schizophrenic like me and Dina now 19 years old means she didn't get her money for like more than 10 years already? I remember when I was 15 I have $3000+ then it means Alysha should have money too at 15 years old. Then there's no help from my relatives they really let me judge Dina as "dah besar sekarang" instead of suing Alysha for her bad treatment to Dina. Law is really bad. MUIS maybe knew and didn't help too, it's so disappointing, I really need a counsellor thats more aggressive in winning for us our justice.

Life is no good this way, still struggle despite having money, thinking of August instead of peaceful day "of having money", imagine money may finish instead, it's really too much my family's and relatives' treatment is something wrong or having a flaw, but there's no help from Club Heal(I have sent my blog link) about it, like requiring more explanation instead. Is it true Club Heal is as useless as my bnss counsellor? The counsellor didn't negotiate anything to me at all, suddenly set the same rules of my parents when counsellor supposed to listen first, she just take the easier way to finish the conversation then I have to quit school anyway, but luckily BMC I got back my N level certificate, still disturbed by Alysha that my achievement is lower than it can be, it's so sad nobody sued Alysha. Crazy family and relative if they don't sue her I think, it makes Alysha believe they are Jews instead, what a bitch mouth and mind. Alysha believe her own lies and it's the weirdest schizophrenic I have ever seen. She will forget after every attack and thought she have psychic power that if she "psychic attack", she will lose her memory again. Crazy shit.