I Feel Like Going To Other Countries Being a University Person, If All Dreams Come True Mine Definitely Will Come True? The only jobs I can think of with my qualification is Warehouse Assistant kind of jobs or those that require Safety Boots, But I Forgot About Jobclub helping me to get a Job should be.
When will my Father Talk of O Level? Nobody continued and responded about my interest except my 1st sister, I'm left thinking if it's actually 39 years old that I'm doing it, my life is way too far behind and O Level takes Only 1 Year it's a High Jump to the next Level of Life. I feel I should do it especially being a nothing-man kind of qualifications, I am just like nothing.
I saw a post about Australia, I would want to feel how it's like at there Too, but more About U.S.A, like New York City, am I actually insane to just be dreaming of going such places? Schizophrenia really paused my life since N.S Days. I Became Nothing After N.S and N Level, what can I become in life?
What should I do in life? I plan of exercising using Pail Water like 100 Carries Each Day, will I be looking healthier afterwards? I like how I managed to learn about Exercising Using Pail Water in D.B, so my time there was not really a waste of my life.
I really feel like I won't get married as this age i'm still alone, I'm worried I won't have Children while I feel like my family maybe thinks I'm too Insane to Marry as fact. If to continue take medications it's maybe 1 year then they will talk about marriage? I don't want to marry random girl too, it have to be my choices but why they don't worry if my choices will be taken by other men? Are they in touch with their family secretly?
Today, I was surprised of having Iguana in the container, it was Frogs, and I think my nephew gave Frogs To Iguana as Food. Life's still Abit like a repeat, I think of learning Iqra and Mandarin at the same time, I wonder when I will know how to read Arabic smoothly. It's been a long time and I can't read them smoothly if not I would have Quran to finish daily maybe, about the Peace-Finding. I wish I know how to interpret dreams, I really hope psychic doctors tells me my dream definitions.
If like zikir "Ya Jabbar, Wajburni" I imagine falling asleep into a dream that's meaningful then I don't know what it means really sucks.
Will I get to go to countries of my dream(about wishes)? I feel too old already and my parents are too old too. I hope a lifestyle like America happens in my life so we would be happier in life, living in America. Then I don't have to worry about Marriage as maybe it means I won't get married if I live there. I saw a video about not to marry when too young, then why I'm not too old then?
Will I get to be soldier kind of person too? Is my skill like hacking not enough to be actually be a degree level person as it's the criteria to hack with own initiative and key alphabets into the hacked computer's screen, I really can do this hacking means my intelligence is already a Degree standard? Will I get my Degree 1 day after my Medications? It really feels like that, it's like just wanting to prove to someone then get my degree and I still feel at least I'm a degree standard of intelligence I'm happy, but my Salary if any jobs from Jobclub I definitely will be happy still.
Nowadays I blog early morning maybe because of cig., I feel like writing more too. I just feel cig. is not the cause of stupidity and it's okay, then if my dreams still my dreams, I really wanted to be smoking tobacco pipes 1 day as a soldier life, life feels boring without cig. anyway? Will Army take me as a soldier putting in any jobscope? I hope they do, but before my O Level can it even happen? I really hope to be a stable man that's all in my life. I think I haven't taken medication for 1 year straight causing no talks from my family, it's my own fault I have to wait.
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