What's Left To Buy is Fishing Rod, Long Pants, Laptop and True Singapore Ghost Stories Set, Then I Feel Complete About My Life Plans. The Hobby of Reading Ghost Stories Been Missing From My Life More Than 20 Years Ago, It's Definitely Anhedonia Causing It, The Loss of Interest Is Sudden And It Causes Loss Of Trust Too. It's Sad How It Happens and Break-Ups Occur I Wish It's Not Like That At All.
It's Around $160(T.S.G.S Set)+$99(Cheapest 12 Inch Laptop) Then At Least 2 Long Pants and Fishing Rod To Feel Complete. The Goal To Complete is December, Then The Rest of G.S.T Package in Future Just Meant For Food and Drinks Easily, I Don't Know What Else To Feel Complete, Maybe Nice 3/4 Cargo Pants Too. I Love Cargo Pants.
I Think Jobclub can Settle My Worries About Not Getting a Job, The Morning Wake-Up Must Be Because Doctor Have A Plan For Me To Do, I Think The Wake-Up That Early(8.30A.M For Jobclub Means I Go Out After My Meds Around 7A.M In Case Traffic Jam At Expressway) Means My Job Starts Morning. So It's Like A Training. I'm Really Looking Forward To Have A New Life And Finally Start Working After 15+Years Long. I Really Hate Thinking About Money As Something Difficult In Life To Be Stable. I Read A Man Becomes Stronger When Only Thinking Of Getting a Home, Stable Job and A Loyal Wife. I Try To Imagine Myself Getting a Stable Job, Home then Soulmate, Home is Definitely A Wish, Everyone Have A Dream House? I Love Computers To Set-Up My Own 1 Day. Then Simba Have Broadband That's $30/mth Only Means My G.S.T Can Settle Both Broadband and Handphone Line As Fact, I Can't See Myself Working Yet But I Know Truth of Doctor Is Like They Are Psychics, I Definitely Will Become Stable At 38 Years Old, Maybe I'm Just Trying Hard Now. To Think of Electricity And Water Bills For Home Too, The Worry Exist In Me How If I Can't Live A Stable Life Because of Schizophrenia and Anhedonia Keeps Creating Loss of Interest In What I Love. It's Going To Be A Difficult Relationship With Anyone, They Just Need To Trust My Fixated Mind Exist And It's Not Anhedonia That Can Create Break-Ups Anymore, Somehow They Just Must Treat Me Like In Relationship Even if Anhedonia Occurs. I Can't Be Wanting a Life That's Nothing Suddenly, Why They Don't Think Like That?
Another is The Pleasure To Solat I Must Obtain This To Feel Stronger in Life, The Restlessness Is Not Recovered Yet Maybe Because of The Spike of Drugs In I.M.H From A Panic Man(That Is Having Drugs Alone) To Involve Everyone Else That Are Smokers, So I Think The Difficulty is Physical Pain Level That I Can't Solat Yet, Schizophrenia Is Truly 1 of The Reason Though. The Discovery That Drugs Can Stay For Months Is From Experience of Being Spiked, So It's Not 3 Days Like Outside Stories As Fact. I Truly Want To Recover. If Too Little Causing The Pain And Anhedonia Blocking The Addiction, It's Still Something Good To Have In Life To Not Be Addicted To Drugs etc.
I Am Also Wanting to Create My Room Like A HipVan Art As I Live Solo Now(It's Been Years) Then My Schizophrenia I Didn't Plan My Life, It Should've Been Long Time Ago, This Is Other Part of Life Completion, To Have Television in Own Room Especially To Connect Handheld Console Game As Temporary Matter As I Don't Have XBox or PS5 In Life, The Gaming Life Been Gone For So Long Since After N.S Days My Schizophrenia Worsen With Causing Break-Ups and True Sadness In Heart. Furnitures however not really important to me.
What's in Mind are Like, Why Would I Go Out A lot At Night 1 Day and Doctor Knew It As A Psychic? Where would I go? What is it for? I would be riding bicycle a lot doesn't this mean I haven't worked yet and goaling for my 1year medications to be perfect? Is it I would be having a Night Job many times 1 day? It really sounds Like Life Exist whenever I speak to a Doctor if they talk of other Matter Than Medicines. I truly want my life back, will someone help me with a nice job for me?
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