Thinking of Health

I Read Alot on Schizophrenia Stuff, I Really Must End All The Pain Myself By Taking Medications? It's the only way to recover, I really want to recover fully. I read someone recovering until 85% there's a percentage level of recovery?

My life's luck about Schizophrenia is just a repetitive episodes of stress from it? It's the same stress everytime and same actions everytime that I somehow improve each time? I wish jobclub really got me to recover from my laziness from schizophrenia, it's totally lost of ability to work as fact but I think to call it laziness as okay too, as sometimes it's inability to sleep well causing waking up and going to work still sleepy-may-come. I wonder how others are so perfect in sleeping hours and waking hours to be in a stable job. Should I rely on melatonin and lorazepam everytime I work to focus on waking up with enough sleep? I'm used to morning wake and thinking "I must sleep to rest as life nothing to do" sometimes, then I can't sleep most of the time in the day. What can make me healthy about wake and sleep? I remember the spike that melatonin didn't help at all too. At least it's working now, my normal wake every morning then if I imagine work I worry about stomach ache then, just imaginations. Wonder what will make me a normal person's health.

Schizophrenia is a serious Illness but there's no insurance about it? Why it's all more than 15years of hard to achieve kind of job? The recovering person "got into a stable job after 16years" that's long, while me is actually since After N.S? It's 16 years too? Was my N.S 18-20 Years Old then it's been 17 years? Will I be fine reminded I am 37 years old now? My life is bad and hard, I'm seriously wanting to overcome the anhedonia and wishes to feel the pleasure of going out again, I really bought nice stuff anyway as the reason to go out nice. I have nobody maybe, no friends is quite insane. Wow it's so long drag of years and singleness kind of lifestyle experience. Schizophrenia is Bad, it causes drag of bad experiences into life. I want to know my successful moments from psychic but they don't show off their psychicness to ask a doctor like "what for" I ask such things? Mental Doctor are psychics is why, will they start showing off they are psychic so I can know how my successful days are like? Will I get to go Italy, France, Germany, Russia, U.S.A like normal people earn then go on vacations? Will I even go honeymoon? These are questions I want to know from psychics, I really am excited about my 38years old recovery-from-schizophrenia story, wonder what it feels like to work normally etc. if the day of saving $50k starts from 38years old until 41years old, what would I discover at 37years old now? What should I do for a nicer life experiences now?

Should I eat a lot of fastfood then I feel totally about life? Should I eat a lot of western food so life feels normal again? When my family going to treat life like how we should feel life again? Maybe my schizophrenia pauses them many years ago and decided not to feel so much life themselves as I don't feel my life?