Joined Commun1ty and Stuff

I'm new to this my nick as "anasqai", it's very quiet app. Wonder what should I do in Life? There's really no one to chat with in my life.

Is the past really a past, my 15+Years ended and gone from my life just like that? I'm trying to improve my life? Will I gain friends in this lifestyle chat?

I search for the same girl over and over again, then I remembered those that healed my heart then gone due to schizophrenia and anhedonia of mine, I think it's really something bad.

It's still like a foetus projected images as only doing like these are nice for my health, I still haven't recovered fully, will I be okay at 38years old 1 day? Definitely I guess as psychic doctor is right?

Sometimes I wish I'm not even 37years old, life really passes by quickly, I imagine them as married and have children at the same time, wonder why psychic let this happens. Psychic should know my heart been sincere, I tried my best in everything that's physical. They really maintained and helped my mind.

What can I do to make myself happier? Just now I saw a girl that looks like my BMC Academy Classmate anyway, my memories, wonder where she is anyway, did I block her during my schizophrenic moments?

What should I do in my life, g.s.t package is support from government, then my parents maybe buying me a new bed as using a slim mattress now without normal bed, then I really think of my parents alot now like I'm old already then this is the maximum attention I get because of schizophrenia maybe they got tired already of my same answers in the past? Wonder what was the conversations, I did not spend my past well?

My life didn't grow up to be something somebody stable, is there a sudden nice path I will be getting in life to be a stable man?

I think I wish perfection in my family(siblings) somehow, their break-ups in marriage is not nice for their baby, I ever ask doctor to help me I wonder what will be happening, I just want a perfect family to exist. They(nephew and niece) both are big one is primary, one is a nursing student from My brother and sister. I wish their health and perfection in family, will doctor become into-this knowledge and help me out? Because my doctors are psychics.

I also think I ever ask for doctor to help me to become a psychologist, as I want to be psychic to care for my soulmate, I wonder what will happen, will my recovery sudden strength into an education-path and I become a doctor myself due to understanding schizophrenia deeply myself? Hahaha. I really want to become a psychic. I wonder what would doctor do, it's been 1 year I think.

I think it's still not too late, most doctors we see are usually 40-50+years old, I think if I can recover I really want to improve in my education-path too. I really will make myself recover by taking medications and do what's best for me this year and next year.