In the past writing of false-information suddenly, I just have to live life normally, my mind became like that I wonder what makes people know I'm schizophrenic instead of criminalizing or insane? People know immediately it's schizophrenia and the state of mind like not believing family members?
I definitely spent time alot online writing stuff, a schizophrenic that knows online stuff maybe I'm something like that?
What makes the same reaction as reality or maybe I just kept losing memory and it's the secret insane thing in life? Why am I like this kind of luck it's been more than 20 years? I calculated 15+years of loss of communication or chemistry with anyone else my life became solo for so long.
It's 10 more days until Jobclub and it's Day 59th of Me Outside Ward On Medication Correctly, Tomorrow is a Self-Celebration Day Like Eating Rare Food Something I Don't Usually Eat. I think I have to go out around 7a.m for Jobclub maybe it's very early in the morning 8.30a.m.
The crave for cig. still alive then I wanting to be stable in my heart I heard somewhere like schizophrenia voices or memory voices it takes 3 days to feel nice in heart from not smoking I am taking the chance I think. I just found out cig. can create a deep miss towards someone at their own timing creating a weakness in life. I wonder why it's like that.
I truly live like normal people then having written false-information during my schizophrenic moments and wanting to learn Silat all that thinking I'm teenager, Age is 1/3 of Years Old, I was thinking like that, I think I made myself funny. But then now I'm wanting to be a Soldier 🪖 wonder what I can work as. Ambitious to be a Stable Man and Normal Man Belief of Actions. Maybe it's Soldier causing me to save $50K from 38 years old to 41 years old?! Hahaha. How to get profile of a fit mind and stable mind? I really am doing the Manly "Fix Mind Body and Wallet First" Thing, remaining Single in life because my luck been like this maybe as fact. I remember during schizophrenia I would think I am a married person and different grammar like "Each Human Have A Soulmate Means Everyone Is Married Already". Something like that me believing someone as my Soulmate and Pasting Image On My Room Door.
Maybe it's Cig. Causing the Deep Misses and Did That Because of Cig., Schizophrenia and Cig. combined became Another Odd Thinker. I guess I must do nothing to be normal as everyone pretend a normal life of me anyway as knowing I have N-Levels means my schizophrenia and Intelligence exist to be normal person. Wonder what to do every morning until night that's all, I really can't think why I cycle at night alot should I just do it? Should I Quit Jobclub and then work Night Time? But it's doctor's idea/plan the Jobclub, means I will want to go. Means I will work every morning 1 day. Will I save anything from 37 to 38 years old? Will psychic doctor tell me anything interesting in life again? I really like to hear stories of success of my life.
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